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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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It's perfect.
4
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,729
Oh, great.
5
00:02:27,396 --> 00:02:28,439
I'll take it.
6
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,149
Wonderful. I'm so happy.
7
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,860
There's one thing.
I'm gonna need some references.
8
00:02:33,402 --> 00:02:34,737
{\an8}I don't have any of those.
9
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{\an8}Oh, dear, that's serious.
10
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{\an8}I don't know that we can do business
together if you don't have references.
11
00:02:44,872 --> 00:02:46,541
Bye, now!
12
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,261
- Daddy.
- What's going on, Isabel?
13
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,179
I'm moving here.
14
00:03:42,346 --> 00:03:44,640
To the Valley?
Why on earth would you do that?
15
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,267
Because it's normal.
16
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,727
You're normal. You're just--
17
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,979
I know. But I'm not gonna
be one anymore.
18
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,481
You have no choice in the matter.
It's what you are.
19
00:03:52,648 --> 00:03:54,483
Orange is a great color.
Orange is happy.
20
00:03:54,650 --> 00:03:56,235
Why don't we just paint it yellow?
21
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,571
We can't, we're gonna
paint the bathroom yellow.
22
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,156
Since when are we doing that?
23
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,949
They're arguing about paint.
24
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,492
Yes, I can see that.
25
00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:05,620
I wanna argue about paint.
26
00:04:05,786 --> 00:04:08,331
- With whom?
- With someone.
27
00:04:08,497 --> 00:04:09,540
A man?
28
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:11,334
- Yes!
- Oh, Isabel.
29
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,628
I'm through with warlocks.
They're all like you.
30
00:04:13,794 --> 00:04:15,421
Even when you and Mom
were married...
31
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,506
...you were casting spells
on other women.
32
00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:20,718
Your life is total
instant gratification, Daddy.
33
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,429
- It's fantastic, isn't it?
- No. No, it's not.
34
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,599
Because how do you know that
anyone really loves you for yourself?
35
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:30,102
It's like those rich men who are never
sure why women sleep with them.
36
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,772
But women sleep with them,
so it's not really a problem.
37
00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:37,318
I want a man who needs me.
38
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:38,861
Needs you?
39
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:43,032
Because he is a completely
hopeless mess.
40
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:45,660
Oh, no. You're talking about love,
aren't you?
41
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,704
What do you suppose it's like?
42
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:52,750
Oh, it's simple. You say, "I love you,"
to someone you want to go home with.
43
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:56,212
And then when things get messy,
you say, "I don't love you anymore."
44
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,089
And that's pretty much it.
45
00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,884
I feel as if I'm pressed against
a glass window.
46
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:06,722
It's right there on the other side.
I can see it, but I can't feel it.
47
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,349
I can't touch it.
48
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:12,478
- Does your mother know about this?
- She disappeared again.
49
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,355
$420.56.
50
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,857
Money. Money.
51
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,702
That was my last thing as a witch.
52
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:33,082
I wanna be like everyone else.
I wanna have friends and I wanna....
53
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,292
And I wanna go
to the Coffee Bean...
54
00:05:35,459 --> 00:05:39,171
...where we all discuss our problems,
which are absolutely unsolvable.
55
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:43,092
You can have anything you want.
Every woman wants to be a witch.
56
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,760
I don't. I wanna feel thwarted.
57
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:47,096
I want days where my hair
is affected by weather.
58
00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:48,931
Yeah, hi, what can I get you?
59
00:05:49,598 --> 00:05:50,891
Scrambled eggs, please.
60
00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:54,729
I am through with just snapping
my fingers and getting my way.
61
00:05:54,895 --> 00:05:57,064
No breakfast after 11.
62
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,569
My absolutely last thing.
63
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,363
Don't do this.
64
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,907
You'll meet someone,
you'll get this close.
65
00:06:07,074 --> 00:06:09,827
- And when he finds out about--
- If he loves me, he won't care.
66
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,830
I'm going to get an umbrella.
67
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,169
Go on. Get yourself one.
68
00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:21,964
No, Daddy. No. I mean it.
No. Never again.
69
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,925
- You'll get wet.
- I hope so.
70
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,695
I know what you're gonna say.
I'm a mess.
71
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,530
Get a grip, Jack. Get a grip.
72
00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:47,823
I can't help it.
73
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,533
Hey, how do I look?
74
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,952
You look great.
75
00:06:52,119 --> 00:06:53,162
- I look great?
- Yeah.
76
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,955
I always look great. That's a given.
77
00:06:55,122 --> 00:06:57,458
- And the important thing is....
- What?
78
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,835
I have no idea what
the important thing is.
79
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:02,797
I'm telling you, I feel like
I'm about to go out of my mind.
80
00:07:02,963 --> 00:07:07,218
You know, I want my life back. Okay?
I want my wife and my house.
81
00:07:07,384 --> 00:07:11,013
I wanna be a movie star again. I mean,
what the hell happened, Richie?
82
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,973
Things were going so great
for a while.
83
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:17,144
Last Year in Katmandu.
It cost 140 mil to make.
84
00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:20,022
Grossed 1.6.
The only DVD to sell no copies.
85
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,525
We probably shouldn't have shot it
in black-and-white.
86
00:07:22,691 --> 00:07:25,736
But now you're gonna do a television
series and it's gonna be a hit.
87
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,906
So pull yourself together, man,
because you look like Don Johnson.
88
00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:31,033
- But in a bad way.
- Okay, I got it.
89
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,868
- I'll pull myself together.
- Let's go.
90
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,787
And don't get all nice on me.
Be mean.
91
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,123
I'm gonna be mean.
I'm gonna be mean.
92
00:07:37,289 --> 00:07:38,624
Hit me. There you go.
93
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,544
You're the Jackerator, baby.
Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
94
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:44,171
Yo, gentlemen.
How are you? Oh!
95
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,714
- Hey, hello.
- Jack Wyatt.
96
00:07:45,881 --> 00:07:48,384
- Hi, I'm Jack.
- Oh. Huge fan. Huge.
97
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,511
- How are the kids, guys?
- Great.
98
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,221
Good. Well, let's cut the chitchat.
99
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:54,348
- Thank you. I'm Jack, by the way.
- Nina.
100
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,725
- Jack wants to do the show.
- That's great.
101
00:07:56,892 --> 00:07:59,353
- I wanna do it.
- That's great. That's terrific.
102
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,729
He only has one concern.
103
00:08:00,896 --> 00:08:02,273
We had the same concern.
104
00:08:02,439 --> 00:08:05,234
But we think everyone's forgotten
about Last Year in Katmandu.
105
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,777
Unless they saw it.
106
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,904
His concern is...
107
00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:10,906
...the witch has all the fun.
108
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,159
You will be fun.
109
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,911
We're changing it from the original.
110
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:20,416
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't all go crazy.
Okay? I mean, it is Bewitched.
111
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:24,879
I mean, Samantha should be strong.
Right? This should be a two-hander.
112
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:28,299
Oh, my God. Huh?
Hey. What a relief.
113
00:08:28,465 --> 00:08:33,053
I was worried because Larry told me
you'd want to tilt the show toward you--
114
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,430
Stu, Stu.
115
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,683
We gotta have a great ensemble
is what I'm thinking. You know?
116
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:41,604
Endora, the next-door neighbors,
all those crazy family members.
117
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:44,982
Who's gonna play Uncle Arthur? Huh?
I used to love Uncle Arthur.
118
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,901
Well, we're looking for Uncle Arthur.
119
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,694
- Your table's ready.
- Thank you.
120
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,070
I don't know if you remember...
121
00:08:50,237 --> 00:08:53,657
...but when he'd appear in the mirror,
it would crack. It would always crack.
122
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,785
And you knew it was coming,
and yet, every time it happened...
123
00:08:56,952 --> 00:08:59,622
...I laughed and I laughed
and I laughed.
124
00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:01,624
- Can I talk to you?
- I loved it.
125
00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:03,250
"Hi, Sammy."
126
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:07,129
One second, fellas. We'll meet
you guys at the table, all right?
127
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,132
Hey, I like those guys. What?
128
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,509
- You're being a pussy.
- What?
129
00:09:12,676 --> 00:09:15,179
You're being a pussy, pussy, pussy!
130
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,181
No, I'm not!
I want the show to be good.
131
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,099
You want the show to be--
You know what?
132
00:09:19,266 --> 00:09:22,311
Jack Wyatt's doing TV now
because his film career ate it!
133
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:25,147
And he's not even the clear star
of his own show.
134
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:29,151
Jack, screw Uncle Arthur.
Hell, screw ensembles, man.
135
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,694
- I'm being a pussy.
- Yes.
136
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,740
If this show tanks, you'll be on
Hollywood Squares for 10 years.
137
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,992
You will also be the mayor
of Pussytown.
138
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:38,786
I don't wanna be the mayor
of Pussytown.
139
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,330
Get in there and be
the sheriff of Ballsville.
140
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,790
- All right?
- Okay.
141
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,500
- Bring it.
- Okay.
142
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,043
Let's go.
143
00:09:48,712 --> 00:09:50,339
- Stop that.
- Sorry, sorry.
144
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,174
Sorry, guys, where were we?
145
00:09:52,716 --> 00:09:55,844
Couple of big names are available
for Samantha.
146
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,182
- To hell with that.
- Yeah.
147
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:02,309
I want an unknown in the lead.
All right?
148
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:05,020
A hot new face that's gonna look good
and set me up.
149
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:10,067
Because I have worked my ass off
to the bone for too long...
150
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:13,612
...to build up the brand value
of the name Jack Wyatt!
151
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:18,033
- This show has one star.
- And I want three trailers.
152
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,661
Nobody in television
has three trailers.
153
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,162
He wants them, you get them.
154
00:10:22,329 --> 00:10:26,166
And I want my own makeup team
in matching jumpsuits.
155
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:29,044
And a leopard!
I want a pet leopard.
156
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,422
With a diamond-studded collar.
Real diamonds.
157
00:10:31,588 --> 00:10:33,549
- That's enough, Jack.
- And a cake.
158
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,969
A two-story-high cake.
Every Wednesday's Cake Day.
159
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,929
And we're gonna bring it out...
160
00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,973
...and we're gonna pretend
it's a surprise.
161
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,599
Because it's Cake Day.
162
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,101
We get it, Jack.
163
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:48,063
If we have a leopard, we're gonna
have major insurance issues.
164
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,982
We're willing to give
on the leopard.
165
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,567
It's getting hard to breathe.
166
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,736
- Should I be writing this down?
- No.
167
00:10:53,902 --> 00:10:57,656
So this should be fun. Huh? Right?
168
00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:01,869
I used to have the biggest crush on
Elizabeth Montgomery when I was 10.
169
00:11:02,202 --> 00:11:05,456
- We all did.
- The nose. I mean....
170
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:11,962
It's not gonna be easy finding
a nobody to play Samantha.
171
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,548
Be the sheriff.
172
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:19,636
Well, Jack Wyatt says
get it done, y'all.
173
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:29,271
Hey, I'm turning on the sprinklers
in my front yard.
174
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,486
Dimming up.
175
00:11:35,652 --> 00:11:38,322
Dimming down.
176
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:42,451
Dimming up.
177
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,953
Dimming down.
178
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,711
Wow!
179
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,380
I don't think you quite understand.
180
00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:57,299
This is very confusing.
181
00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:01,053
I put the black cable in the red plug
like they said...
182
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,972
...and the screen is still blue.
183
00:12:05,265 --> 00:12:06,975
I'm here to give you cable.
184
00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:09,645
Oh, thank you, I already have some.
185
00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:13,315
Hello? Don't go away, please.
186
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,278
To heck with all this bunk!
187
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,219
There.
188
00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:47,307
Let's just keep this
between us, Lucinda.
189
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:53,438
Is your self-esteem low because you
aren't participating in the real world?
190
00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:55,691
Yes, my self-esteem is very low.
191
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:59,236
Well, let's face it, you need a job.
192
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,238
There's something I have
to tell you, Darrin.
193
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,866
- I'm a witch.
- I'm a witch.
194
00:13:04,032 --> 00:13:06,118
I am a witch.
195
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,881
Good. Good.
196
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,745
Oh, my goodness.
197
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,595
God bless you.
198
00:14:43,715 --> 00:14:47,052
Don't look, but Jack Wyatt
is staring at you.
199
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:53,892
My heart's pounding,
and I am feeling very weird tingles.
200
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,645
I know. He makes me sick too.
201
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:58,313
You know him?
202
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,774
Jack Wyatt? The actor?
203
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:02,526
Where have you been?
204
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:05,779
- May I join you?
- Sure.
205
00:15:08,031 --> 00:15:10,075
- Hi, I'm Jack Wyatt.
- I know.
206
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,577
Thank you.
207
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,079
Look, I've never done this before.
208
00:15:15,163 --> 00:15:18,125
How would you like to be
on a television show?
209
00:15:19,459 --> 00:15:21,503
- Ms....
- Bigelow.
210
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,005
Bigelow?
211
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:26,008
Isabel Bigelow.
212
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,845
What do you think?
Wanna be a famous actress?
213
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,221
- Me?
- Yeah.
214
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:33,265
- An actress?
- Yeah.
215
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:35,183
I can't act.
216
00:15:36,351 --> 00:15:37,978
Anyone can act.
217
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,980
If I can act, you can act.
218
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,398
Amen.
219
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:46,361
I think those people over there
just finished their plate of hummus.
220
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:49,364
You might wanna help them
by clearing it. Thank you.
221
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:56,663
So, Isabel Bigelow,
do you have a job?
222
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:59,207
- No.
- Are you rich?
223
00:15:59,374 --> 00:16:01,043
Because I am.
224
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,045
I'm extremely wealthy.
225
00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:07,924
Which I'm about to prove to you
by taking care of this bill...
226
00:16:08,091 --> 00:16:10,761
...for 2 dollars...
227
00:16:10,927 --> 00:16:13,263
...and 31 cents.
228
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:16,141
- Wow.
- Yeah. "Wow" is right.
229
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,560
I have to remember
to get some money.
230
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:19,936
Yeah.
231
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,397
So do you wanna be
rich and famous?
232
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,985
I just wanna be normal.
233
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:30,030
Well, acting is better than normal.
234
00:16:30,238 --> 00:16:32,616
Yeah. You get to pretend
to be normal.
235
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,119
And then if you're good,
you become a big star...
236
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:39,039
- ...and guess what happens.
- What?
237
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:43,126
You snap your fingers and pretty much
anything you want materializes.
238
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,587
Oh, no. No, no, no.
239
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,423
I have that now.
It's what I'm giving up.
240
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:52,678
Oh, it was lovely to meet you.
241
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:57,974
You seem very sweet
and unkempt and troubled.
242
00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:01,520
Hey!
243
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:05,732
Hey, hey, hey. Those are bad things
to say to a person.
244
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:06,942
Oh, no, they aren't.
245
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:11,279
I think the fact that you're
a hopeless mess is very refreshing.
246
00:17:11,446 --> 00:17:13,073
It moves me.
247
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,248
- Isabel Bigelow.
- Yes?
248
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,209
I need you.
249
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,795
What did you say?
250
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,131
- I said, I need you.
- You need me?
251
00:17:29,589 --> 00:17:31,216
I need you.
252
00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:35,137
You don't have to come audition.
253
00:17:35,303 --> 00:17:38,140
Just come and show everyone
what you look like when you do it.
254
00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:39,391
Like this?
255
00:17:40,475 --> 00:17:41,518
Uncanny.
256
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,061
- It's identical.
- I told you.
257
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,697
You go, girl!
258
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:58,452
We would just like you
to read the script.
259
00:17:58,618 --> 00:18:01,288
Start on page 13.
Should be marked there.
260
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:02,748
Read it?
261
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,133
Okay-- Out loud.
262
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,261
Yeah. We want an idea
of what it could sound like.
263
00:18:18,638 --> 00:18:21,933
"Int., honeymoon suite, night--
Dash, night.
264
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,019
Darrin and Samantha are sitting
on the bed."
265
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,687
Someone's not too bright.
266
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:29,149
Just.... Just read the part
that says "Samantha."
267
00:18:32,652 --> 00:18:36,072
"Darrin, I know it's our honeymoon,
but there's something I have to tell you.
268
00:18:36,239 --> 00:18:37,741
I'm a witch."
269
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,035
- I'm not a witch.
- Yeah, exactly.
270
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,788
- No, you're giving it up.
- Who told you?
271
00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:45,373
You're about to. On the next page.
272
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:49,377
It's Bewitched. The TV show.
We're redoing it.
273
00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:51,546
Oh, I wasn't allowed
to watch Bewitched.
274
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:55,133
Who wasn't allowed
to watch Bewitched?
275
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:58,053
- That's great, Jack.
- That's great.
276
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:01,097
Well, I play a mortal.
And I'm in love with you.
277
00:19:01,264 --> 00:19:03,391
And I don't care that you're a witch.
278
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,394
You don't care?
279
00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:07,854
No? Is that true?
280
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,356
Yes, it is. Yeah.
281
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,567
Now go ahead and read the lines.
282
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,569
I'll read with you.
We'll do it together.
283
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:18,281
Randall? Where are you?
Yes. Thank you.
284
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:20,742
This'll be easy.
285
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,582
- Here?
- Yeah.
286
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,084
I'm a witch, Darrin.
287
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:34,548
A house-haunting, broomstick-flying,
caldron-stirring witch!
288
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:35,924
Great. Great.
289
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:39,719
Know what? Let's put the script down,
let's put it away, and we'll improvise.
290
00:19:39,886 --> 00:19:42,430
Jack. That was only one line.
291
00:19:42,597 --> 00:19:43,932
Not a big deal.
292
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,642
Go ahead, just set it down.
293
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,227
Randall.
294
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:51,273
I'm gonna ask you questions,
just answer them as if you're a witch.
295
00:19:52,148 --> 00:19:53,608
- Sure.
- Yeah.
296
00:19:54,442 --> 00:19:56,319
Were your parents
in the witch business?
297
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:59,281
Both of them. My mother fixed
the 1986 World Series.
298
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,535
- Funny.
- Make a note of that.
299
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,621
Do you carry around poison apples,
like in Snow White?
300
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:10,292
Oh, no, you have to have a permit
for a poison apple.
301
00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:12,335
Permit? Okay, good to know.
302
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,212
That's good.
303
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,256
Oh, what's it like to date a warlock?
304
00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:18,216
Oh! Horrible.
305
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:22,596
They're self-centred, not very bright,
and all that feel-good-in-the-moment.
306
00:20:22,762 --> 00:20:24,431
Not at all like you.
307
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,309
What's so funny?
308
00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:29,185
Nothing, J-Bone.
309
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,479
What's your favorite spell?
310
00:20:31,646 --> 00:20:35,150
Oh, no, I don't like to talk about that
because I'm quitting and--
311
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,986
No, talking about it
just makes it harder, so....
312
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:40,363
Are you sure you never saw
Bewitched?
313
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:42,198
She's incredibly dialed-in.
314
00:20:42,365 --> 00:20:44,826
- Can I ask a question?
- Sure.
315
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,995
How much longer do we have to
do this for?
316
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:49,497
Oh, this?
We're almost done with this.
317
00:20:49,664 --> 00:20:52,834
I mean, if you do the show,
we'll be together forever.
318
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,211
- You and I?
- Would you please do the show?
319
00:20:55,378 --> 00:20:56,755
- What? This show?
- This show.
320
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,174
- The Bewitched show?
- Absolutely.
321
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,134
We'll work together.
We'll be partners.
322
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:03,511
Be my TV wife.
323
00:21:03,678 --> 00:21:06,014
- This is very complicated.
- Marry me.
324
00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:09,059
Say yes.
325
00:21:09,225 --> 00:21:10,477
What are you doing, Isabel?
326
00:21:10,977 --> 00:21:12,395
Easy answer.
327
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,357
- Yes.
- Yes!
328
00:21:16,107 --> 00:21:18,902
Great. Thank you.
329
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:22,864
Okay. Let's make the deal. Right?
330
00:21:23,698 --> 00:21:27,243
Once upon a time,
there was a typical American girl...
331
00:21:28,286 --> 00:21:33,541
...who happened to bump into
a typical red-blooded American boy.
332
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:38,463
And she bumped into him,
and bumped into him.
333
00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:42,884
So they decided they'd better
sit down and talk this over...
334
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,303
...before they had an accident.
335
00:21:45,845 --> 00:21:47,222
They became good friends.
336
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,307
- Hi!
- Hello?
337
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,268
They brought this while you were out.
I said I'd bring it over.
338
00:21:52,435 --> 00:21:54,062
I'm your neighbor, Maria Kelly.
339
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:55,605
- Come in!
- Thank you.
340
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,607
What is all this stuff?
341
00:21:57,774 --> 00:22:00,193
I just got the most amazing job.
342
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:04,155
I'm gonna be Samantha on Bewitched.
They're redoing it.
343
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:05,907
Are you an actress?
344
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:07,325
I guess I am.
345
00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,995
I love that show.
Is that the one about the genie?
346
00:22:10,161 --> 00:22:12,998
- No.
- This is so exciting!
347
00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:20,088
Oh! There you are. Come here.
This is you!
348
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:21,840
Oh, I love this show.
349
00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:24,718
You know it?
350
00:22:24,884 --> 00:22:28,304
Watched it every night.
Love the song. Perfect.
351
00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:31,766
There you are! You're great!
Look at the nose!
352
00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:33,184
I hope you can do that.
353
00:22:33,351 --> 00:22:35,270
That's how I got the job.
Wriggling my nose.
354
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:37,439
- Really?
- It's easy.
355
00:22:37,605 --> 00:22:39,107
Who's gonna play your husband?
356
00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:41,443
- Jack Wyatt.
- Oh, my God.
357
00:22:41,609 --> 00:22:44,946
He believes in me. He wants to be
partners with me. Listen to this:
358
00:22:45,113 --> 00:22:47,115
"Looking forward
to working with you, Isabel.
359
00:22:47,282 --> 00:22:49,576
As dictated to
Jack's assistant, Randall."
360
00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:51,369
Isn't that amazing?
361
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:55,331
He's single. It's in all the tabloids.
His wife dumped him.
362
00:22:55,498 --> 00:22:56,833
- Is that true?
- Yes!
363
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,251
Oh, my gosh.
364
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,381
I don't know why we're doing this,
but it's fun.
365
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,175
I know!
366
00:23:05,341 --> 00:23:08,470
Although, you shouldn't get involved
with someone you're working with.
367
00:23:08,636 --> 00:23:11,681
It can destroy your references.
I'm a career counselor and--
368
00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:14,350
Well, that's the only reason
I took the job.
369
00:23:14,517 --> 00:23:19,355
He is the cutest mess you have
ever seen. He is hopeless.
370
00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:24,569
Oh, gosh, he's beyond mortal.
371
00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:27,489
My father would never approve.
372
00:23:28,239 --> 00:23:29,866
Oh. Well.
373
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:31,868
I won't?
374
00:23:32,035 --> 00:23:33,870
Daddy. Hi.
375
00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:36,372
What are you doing here?
376
00:23:36,539 --> 00:23:38,541
Hello, Isabel. Love the hat.
377
00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,628
And who is this?
378
00:23:42,337 --> 00:23:43,922
This is my father.
379
00:23:44,088 --> 00:23:46,132
This is Maria Kelly.
380
00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:51,513
How witchy was that? We talk
about your father and he turns up.
381
00:23:52,263 --> 00:23:54,015
Maria is my neighbor.
382
00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:56,768
Nigel Bigelow. Enchanté.
383
00:23:57,435 --> 00:23:58,937
Okay.
384
00:23:59,312 --> 00:24:00,814
And what won't I approve of?
385
00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:02,857
A man Isabel thinks is cute.
386
00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:04,692
I'm completely against it.
387
00:24:04,859 --> 00:24:06,945
I'm gonna be an actress
in a television series.
388
00:24:07,111 --> 00:24:09,823
She's gonna play Samantha
on Bewitched.
389
00:24:09,989 --> 00:24:13,576
Bewitched?
That's an insult to our way of life.
390
00:24:15,161 --> 00:24:16,955
Your dad is a hoot.
391
00:24:17,121 --> 00:24:19,374
I'm gonna take one of these,
because you got a lot.
392
00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:20,667
Oh, sure.
393
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:25,338
Anyway, if anyone's robbing my house,
let me know. I'll do the same for you.
394
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,091
Oh! And if you get a date
that has a friend...
395
00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:31,344
...make sure he's not secretly married
before you call me.
396
00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:33,763
- Bye, Nigel.
- Bye, Maria.
397
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,557
Bye, Maria.
398
00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:37,642
Why can't you be happy for me?
399
00:24:38,309 --> 00:24:42,188
In less than a week I have become
a rich and famous actress...
400
00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:45,066
...living in a house I don't even have
to pay rent for...
401
00:24:45,233 --> 00:24:47,235
...just like every other person
in the world.
402
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:48,611
Why wouldn't I be happy?
403
00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:51,281
You've turned your back
on your own kind...
404
00:24:51,447 --> 00:24:54,659
...and now you live down the street
from a Denny's.
405
00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:57,954
Don't make fun of my life.
I could make fun of your life.
406
00:24:58,121 --> 00:25:00,748
So, what about this man?
407
00:25:00,915 --> 00:25:03,751
No, I am not telling you anything
anymore, you're too negative.
408
00:25:03,918 --> 00:25:06,880
One morning,
I shot a lion in my pajamas.
409
00:25:07,046 --> 00:25:10,758
What he was doing in my pajamas,
I'll never know.
410
00:25:13,928 --> 00:25:15,680
Uncle Arthur. Classic.
411
00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:19,601
Your brand of low comedy always did
appeal to adolescent mentality.
412
00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:25,273
I won't do it.
413
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,442
Speaking of traveling,
remember that time....
414
00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:28,693
Maybe I will.
415
00:25:28,943 --> 00:25:30,987
Maybe I will.
416
00:25:31,154 --> 00:25:33,615
- -sent over from Europe.
It's simply gorgeous.
417
00:25:33,781 --> 00:25:36,075
It reminds me
of the one in California.
418
00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:43,291
Lucinda, you really should be
watching this.
419
00:25:49,589 --> 00:25:52,383
I'm only trying to say
that you broke your promise.
420
00:25:52,550 --> 00:25:54,802
You gave me your word, no more....
421
00:25:54,969 --> 00:25:56,304
Stuff.
422
00:25:56,554 --> 00:25:59,307
It's a little harder to break the habit
than I thought.
423
00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:02,894
Well, you can do it.
I've got a lot of faith in you.
424
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,604
Thank you, darling.
425
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:06,856
Ladies and gentlemen...
426
00:26:07,023 --> 00:26:10,068
...please welcome the star
of the new Bewitched:
427
00:26:10,234 --> 00:26:12,028
Jack Wyatt!
428
00:26:17,408 --> 00:26:19,202
I didn't expect you guys to be here.
429
00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:24,499
Okay, as you know,
we're here for Bewitched.
430
00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:29,337
But it's not the same Bewitched
that you remember. It's being retooled.
431
00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:31,130
But there is going to be a Samantha?
432
00:26:31,297 --> 00:26:33,424
Of course.
Isabel, can you come out here?
433
00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:40,598
Be brave. You look beautiful.
434
00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:42,475
Ladies and gentlemen
of the press...
435
00:26:42,642 --> 00:26:46,562
...I'd like you to meet the talented
and delightful Ms. Isabel Bigelow.
436
00:26:46,729 --> 00:26:48,731
Say hello to the people, Isabel.
437
00:26:49,065 --> 00:26:50,191
Hello.
438
00:26:50,358 --> 00:26:53,277
No, no, into the microphone.
Here. Here.
439
00:26:54,153 --> 00:26:55,863
- Hello.
- That's enough.
440
00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:59,075
Now do that thing that you do.
441
00:27:01,869 --> 00:27:03,454
Isn't that great?
442
00:27:04,747 --> 00:27:07,959
That was great. Great.
Just stand there.
443
00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:11,879
And guess who's playing Endora.
444
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:17,385
Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome the great, the legendary...
445
00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:20,805
...Miss Iris Smythson,
as my mother-in-law.
446
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:22,473
That's right.
447
00:27:23,057 --> 00:27:24,892
Iris Smythson. Iris?
448
00:27:27,061 --> 00:27:28,646
- Iris?
- All right, what's going on?
449
00:27:42,243 --> 00:27:43,911
Iris Smythson.
450
00:27:44,579 --> 00:27:46,998
And of course she hates me.
Don't you?
451
00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:49,125
Anything you say, Jerry.
452
00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:51,919
Jack. See what I mean?
That's a joke, right?
453
00:27:52,086 --> 00:27:54,172
Endora used to refer to Darrin
as Derwood.
454
00:27:54,338 --> 00:27:56,674
No, I just forgot your name.
455
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:59,552
But the news here
isn't Iris Smythson...
456
00:27:59,719 --> 00:28:02,555
...or Jack Wyatt,
who's trying the small screen...
457
00:28:02,722 --> 00:28:05,641
...after the twin disasters
of his last movie...
458
00:28:05,808 --> 00:28:07,977
...and a messy split
from his wife, Sheila...
459
00:28:08,144 --> 00:28:10,146
...who's already found
someone new...
460
00:28:10,313 --> 00:28:13,274
...after a marriage that lasted
only 19 months.
461
00:28:13,441 --> 00:28:16,486
Didn't she leave him for a
snowboarder/underwear model?
462
00:28:16,652 --> 00:28:18,571
He's a moron/idiot.
463
00:28:18,738 --> 00:28:21,074
- That's right.
- Aren't they living together?
464
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,952
Yes, in my house! My house
that I bought before I even met her.
465
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,622
And she won't move
or sign the divorce papers.
466
00:28:27,789 --> 00:28:31,959
The big news is the surprise casting
of an unknown as Samantha.
467
00:28:32,126 --> 00:28:34,128
Her name is Isabel Bigelow...
468
00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:36,839
...and she's quite the charmer,
isn't she?
469
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:40,009
- That's magic.
- So, what's Jack Wyatt thinking?
470
00:28:40,176 --> 00:28:42,970
"My career has tanked,
so I'll fix it by playing Darrin"?
471
00:28:43,137 --> 00:28:45,640
Yeah. Because that's crazy.
Who's running his life?
472
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,850
Plus, he did not look well.
473
00:28:48,017 --> 00:28:50,436
Not look well? I look fine.
474
00:28:50,603 --> 00:28:52,522
I'm extremely healthy.
475
00:28:53,106 --> 00:28:55,733
Richie. Richie.
476
00:28:56,859 --> 00:28:58,820
What am I gonna do with you?
477
00:28:59,987 --> 00:29:01,155
Boy.
478
00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:02,949
This is Richie.
479
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:06,411
Richie. Why'd you talk me
into doing this show? Huh?
480
00:29:06,577 --> 00:29:08,788
What was I thinking?
What were you thinking?
481
00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:11,332
We were both thinking
the same thing, Jack Attack.
482
00:29:11,499 --> 00:29:13,543
Cast a nobody.
You're completely safe.
483
00:29:13,709 --> 00:29:17,046
Richie, can't you come over here?
I could use a little support on this one.
484
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:21,008
Jack, I can't because I'm about to step
into a meeting with the head of NBC.
485
00:29:21,175 --> 00:29:22,802
I'll be right there! One second.
486
00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:26,806
Look, I don't know if you know this,
but I'm Darrin, okay?
487
00:29:26,973 --> 00:29:31,686
They replaced Darrin on the original
Bewitched and no one noticed!
488
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:34,397
Nobody is going to replace you.
489
00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:37,900
I'm Darrin! How did this happen?!
490
00:30:13,644 --> 00:30:15,021
Hold the work!
491
00:30:15,188 --> 00:30:19,400
Once upon a time, there was a typical
red-blooded American boy...
492
00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:22,987
...who happened to bump into
a typical American girl.
493
00:30:25,531 --> 00:30:27,158
And, cut!
494
00:30:29,076 --> 00:30:31,579
- Jack, Jack.
- How was I? How was I?
495
00:30:31,746 --> 00:30:33,956
- You were wonderful, man.
- So good.
496
00:30:34,123 --> 00:30:36,751
- Don't lie to me.
- No. My ribs hurt.
497
00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:38,544
It's what I get paid to do.
498
00:30:38,711 --> 00:30:40,588
Jack? Uno más? From the top?
499
00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:41,797
One more?
500
00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:46,093
Did you see what happened?
Good stuff.
501
00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:49,430
Moving on!
502
00:30:49,889 --> 00:30:52,099
You know it, dude. Nice one.
503
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,520
Here we go.
Off to a good start, huh?
504
00:30:56,771 --> 00:31:01,275
And after a while, he did what any
red-blooded American boy would do.
505
00:31:01,442 --> 00:31:04,070
Samantha, will you marry me?
506
00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:05,363
Cut!
507
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,698
Great! Beautiful. That was good.
508
00:31:07,865 --> 00:31:09,116
That was good.
509
00:31:09,742 --> 00:31:11,577
- Action.
- You're a witch?
510
00:31:11,744 --> 00:31:14,914
And you waited until our
wedding night to tell me?
511
00:31:15,331 --> 00:31:18,584
I don't believe this! Oh, golly!
512
00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:26,551
Samantha.
513
00:31:34,892 --> 00:31:36,644
Cut! Cut!
514
00:31:36,811 --> 00:31:38,646
Joey, for God's sake.
515
00:31:38,813 --> 00:31:41,983
Are you trying to kill everyone?
Because we can't breathe.
516
00:31:42,149 --> 00:31:44,318
And what's going on
with the lightning?
517
00:31:44,485 --> 00:31:47,738
You can't nod to the audience in
the show. It just breaks the reality.
518
00:31:47,905 --> 00:31:48,990
What?
519
00:31:49,156 --> 00:31:50,992
You can't nod to them.
You can't do....
520
00:31:51,158 --> 00:31:53,035
Go sit in your chair.
Back to your chair.
521
00:31:53,202 --> 00:31:54,537
All right, but--
522
00:31:55,621 --> 00:31:57,123
Take two up. Rolling!
523
00:31:57,290 --> 00:32:01,669
You're a witch? And you waited until
our wedding night to tell me?
524
00:32:02,503 --> 00:32:05,006
I can't believe this.
525
00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:10,344
What's going on?
526
00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:14,015
Samantha.
527
00:32:21,188 --> 00:32:22,565
Why is she waving?
528
00:32:23,316 --> 00:32:24,900
Who are you?
529
00:32:25,109 --> 00:32:29,196
I am Samantha's mother, Endora.
530
00:32:29,363 --> 00:32:31,532
A mortal? You married a mortal?
531
00:32:31,699 --> 00:32:35,119
Oh, my poor, poor baby.
This is just horrifying.
532
00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:36,537
I think I need a drink.
533
00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,497
Freeze!
534
00:32:42,585 --> 00:32:43,794
Unfreeze!
535
00:32:48,382 --> 00:32:49,967
What a shame you didn't drink it.
536
00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:54,805
If you had, perhaps you could've spent
your wedding night as a bullfrog.
537
00:32:58,059 --> 00:33:02,021
Don't worry, Samantha. I won't do it.
Witch's honor.
538
00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:10,738
My darling, we are quicksilver.
539
00:33:11,197 --> 00:33:12,698
We're a fleeting shadow.
540
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:15,409
We're a distant sound.
541
00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:18,162
- That's your mother?
- We live on the wind...
542
00:33:18,329 --> 00:33:20,623
...in the sparkle of a star.
543
00:33:22,249 --> 00:33:24,835
And you want to trade all that
for an acre of crabgrass?
544
00:33:25,002 --> 00:33:27,755
Did she just call me
an acre of crabgrass?
545
00:33:27,922 --> 00:33:29,256
Deal with it, Derwood.
546
00:33:32,635 --> 00:33:34,887
Thank you. Thank you.
547
00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:36,263
Thank you!
548
00:33:39,475 --> 00:33:41,769
I want a piece of the show. Why?
549
00:33:41,936 --> 00:33:44,230
Because I put this thing together,
that's why.
550
00:33:44,397 --> 00:33:47,733
Because Jack Wyatt doesn't
parallel park without checking with me.
551
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:50,027
Let me call you back. J-Bone!
552
00:33:50,194 --> 00:33:52,321
You're crushing it, baby.
Absolutely crushing it.
553
00:33:52,488 --> 00:33:54,323
- I think we got something.
- It's exciting.
554
00:33:54,490 --> 00:33:56,117
- How's Isabel doing?
- She's perfect.
555
00:33:56,283 --> 00:33:59,453
She looks hot and she lets you score
like a madman.
556
00:33:59,620 --> 00:34:00,746
I know. She's great.
557
00:34:00,913 --> 00:34:02,415
I can't believe you found her.
558
00:34:02,581 --> 00:34:03,874
You think she's gonna notice?
559
00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:07,378
What? That she doesn't have a part?
Not a chance. She's clueless.
560
00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:09,755
Plus, I think she's got
a little thing for you.
561
00:34:09,922 --> 00:34:12,299
It's freaking pathetic.
562
00:34:12,466 --> 00:34:13,926
- You think so?
- Yes.
563
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:15,928
Man, that would be--
564
00:34:16,095 --> 00:34:19,056
Such a nightmare. I know.
Can you imagine?
565
00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:23,477
Although, she does have kind of
a cute little back end on her.
566
00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:26,480
I wouldn't kick her out of bed
for eating a box of crackers.
567
00:34:26,647 --> 00:34:27,940
Isabel?
568
00:34:30,317 --> 00:34:32,319
- Did she hear us?
- Not a chance.
569
00:34:32,486 --> 00:34:34,238
A couple of changes to the script.
570
00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:38,784
It was running a little long,
so we cut your lines.
571
00:34:39,493 --> 00:34:42,455
Think of it this way,
it's less to memorize.
572
00:34:43,706 --> 00:34:44,999
Sorry.
573
00:34:47,668 --> 00:34:48,961
Lunch!
574
00:35:02,641 --> 00:35:03,851
Isabel!
575
00:35:04,018 --> 00:35:09,106
I feel like a fool. A big, stupid,
sad fool, and yet I'm angry as well.
576
00:35:09,273 --> 00:35:10,399
What's going on?
577
00:35:10,566 --> 00:35:13,360
Let's set fire to his trailer.
Let's just do it.
578
00:35:13,527 --> 00:35:17,198
Isabel, this is awesome!
You're on TV.
579
00:35:17,364 --> 00:35:18,699
He lied to me.
580
00:35:18,866 --> 00:35:21,410
He tricked me.
He said he needed me.
581
00:35:21,577 --> 00:35:24,288
When all he needed was someone
to stand next to him...
582
00:35:24,455 --> 00:35:27,583
...while he says
his stupid clever lines.
583
00:35:31,295 --> 00:35:32,838
- Hi, I'm Maria.
- Nina.
584
00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:40,638
He seemed so messy and sincere.
But really, he's just a big fake.
585
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:43,891
We could electrocute him.
There's tons of wires around here.
586
00:35:44,058 --> 00:35:48,521
I wanna cry, I wanna break things.
I wanna hurt him.
587
00:35:48,729 --> 00:35:52,024
Yet there's a part of me that still
has a small amount of feeling for him.
588
00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:53,984
How can this be?
589
00:35:54,151 --> 00:35:57,738
When my first husband left me,
I wanted to cut the brakes in his car...
590
00:35:57,905 --> 00:36:01,408
...but instead we ended up
having sex on the elliptical machine.
591
00:36:02,117 --> 00:36:06,372
He doesn't understand who
he's dealing with. He has no idea.
592
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:08,499
Look, you have three options:
593
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:10,209
You put up with it...
594
00:36:10,376 --> 00:36:11,627
...quit...
595
00:36:11,794 --> 00:36:13,379
...or get mad.
596
00:36:15,548 --> 00:36:16,924
What would Samantha do?
597
00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:32,731
She chose mad, right?
598
00:36:56,297 --> 00:36:58,299
Okay, everybody, settle down.
599
00:36:58,465 --> 00:37:01,510
Okay, working very quietly,
like little mice.
600
00:37:01,677 --> 00:37:04,763
I don't want to see or hear
what you're doing.
601
00:37:05,931 --> 00:37:11,061
Okay, so, Isabel, just to refresh
your memory, Darrin's ex-girlfriend--
602
00:37:11,228 --> 00:37:12,605
I read the script.
603
00:37:12,771 --> 00:37:14,982
Okay. Well, let's just go over it
one more time.
604
00:37:15,149 --> 00:37:17,109
Oh, and we rehearsed it a lot.
605
00:37:17,276 --> 00:37:18,986
Well, I'm aware of that.
606
00:37:19,153 --> 00:37:23,157
Darrin's ex-girlfriend has invited you
both over for dinner.
607
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:25,659
And Darrin forced you
to come with him--
608
00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:28,913
He tricked me. Because he is
a self-centred has-been.
609
00:37:29,079 --> 00:37:31,665
No, no, baby, that's not it. No.
610
00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:35,794
Because he wants his dog back,
and then Darrin says his line:
611
00:37:35,961 --> 00:37:37,421
- "It's my dog.
- It's my dog.
612
00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:39,590
- I want him back."
- I want him back.
613
00:37:40,341 --> 00:37:42,509
It always kills me, Jack.
You ready to go?
614
00:37:42,676 --> 00:37:44,178
Let's do it. Let's do it.
615
00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:45,930
Saddle up. Rolling!
616
00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:52,519
Action!
617
00:37:52,686 --> 00:37:54,355
It's my dog.
618
00:37:54,521 --> 00:37:56,315
My dog!
619
00:37:56,482 --> 00:37:59,944
And I will die if I do not have him back.
Do you understand?!
620
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:06,533
I will die if I do not have him back!
621
00:38:08,243 --> 00:38:09,411
Cut.
622
00:38:09,828 --> 00:38:14,541
Well, that was a bit much, Jack.
You wanna take it down a notch?
623
00:38:14,708 --> 00:38:15,751
Or five?
624
00:38:15,918 --> 00:38:19,254
You know what? Just keep it going.
Let me just go. I'll get it this time.
625
00:38:19,421 --> 00:38:20,547
Rolling!
626
00:38:21,715 --> 00:38:22,800
Action!
627
00:38:22,967 --> 00:38:26,345
Where art thou, dog?
628
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:28,389
Thy canine lover.
629
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:29,890
What's happening?
630
00:38:30,057 --> 00:38:33,894
Where is your hot breath
upon the nape of my neck?
631
00:38:34,311 --> 00:38:37,731
We shall form a bond of brotherhood:
man and beast.
632
00:38:37,898 --> 00:38:41,360
You shall lick my face
and I shall lick your snout.
633
00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:42,736
Cut. Jack.
634
00:38:42,903 --> 00:38:45,572
Guys, I'm not doing this on purpose,
I swear to you.
635
00:38:45,739 --> 00:38:47,074
Okay. All right.
636
00:38:47,449 --> 00:38:48,575
Rolling.
637
00:39:00,713 --> 00:39:03,716
Oh, my God. Where's my dog?
638
00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:07,594
Totally. I have a totally great dog.
639
00:39:12,307 --> 00:39:14,101
Jack. Jack. What are you doing?
640
00:39:16,687 --> 00:39:21,942
This is where the dog has to decide
between Darrin's ex and Darrin.
641
00:39:22,109 --> 00:39:25,529
Samantha wiggles her nose
and the dog chooses Darrin.
642
00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:27,281
Rolling!
643
00:39:28,407 --> 00:39:31,618
I know how we can solve this, Darrin.
We'll let Satchel decide.
644
00:39:31,785 --> 00:39:33,620
That's a great idea.
645
00:39:33,787 --> 00:39:36,915
- Come to Daddy, Satchel.
- Look! Good boy.
646
00:39:37,082 --> 00:39:38,709
- Come to Mommy.
- Good boy.
647
00:39:39,001 --> 00:39:42,004
- Satchel....
- Okay, Isabel, wiggle your nose.
648
00:39:42,171 --> 00:39:43,922
Satchel. Satchel. Come to Mommy.
649
00:39:44,089 --> 00:39:45,966
- Satchel. Satchel.
- Come on. Come on. Up!
650
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,303
- Right here. Come to Daddy.
- Come to Mommy, Satchel.
651
00:39:50,345 --> 00:39:51,597
I got it, Jack. I got it.
652
00:39:51,764 --> 00:39:53,724
Don't you dare go to Daddy.
Come to Mommy!
653
00:39:53,891 --> 00:39:56,310
- No, no, no. You love Daddy.
- Come on, Satchel.
654
00:39:56,477 --> 00:39:58,103
- Come on.
- Come on.
655
00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:00,606
Satchel, come to Mommy.
656
00:40:00,773 --> 00:40:03,484
- He's coming. He's coming.
- He's just sitting there.
657
00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,152
Come on! Come on, boy!
658
00:40:05,319 --> 00:40:06,695
To Mommy, Satchel.
659
00:40:10,949 --> 00:40:13,118
- Cut!
- Jim, what's going on here?
660
00:40:13,285 --> 00:40:14,953
Joey!
661
00:40:16,413 --> 00:40:19,583
If the dog runs to you again, try this.
662
00:40:22,669 --> 00:40:23,837
Come to Daddy, Satchel.
663
00:40:24,004 --> 00:40:25,506
Satchel, come to Mommy.
664
00:40:25,672 --> 00:40:26,965
Come on! Come on, Satchel.
665
00:40:27,966 --> 00:40:30,177
- Come on, boy, please?
- To Mommy.
666
00:40:30,594 --> 00:40:31,845
Good girl.
667
00:40:32,012 --> 00:40:34,848
Please, boy, come on!
Jump, boy! Jump!
668
00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:39,186
Thank God you didn't have
a Great Dane.
669
00:40:41,980 --> 00:40:43,524
Damn it!
670
00:40:45,150 --> 00:40:46,527
Cut!
671
00:40:49,238 --> 00:40:51,073
Darling, that was marvelous.
672
00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:53,700
But.... Watch out for that.
673
00:40:56,203 --> 00:40:57,830
Please don't say anything.
674
00:40:57,996 --> 00:40:59,498
Calm down, you're not alone.
675
00:41:00,249 --> 00:41:02,709
- I'm not?
- No.
676
00:41:03,919 --> 00:41:06,922
- Are there others?
- There are many others.
677
00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:11,260
Many actors, they develop tricks...
678
00:41:11,426 --> 00:41:13,220
...twitches, really.
679
00:41:13,887 --> 00:41:16,515
You don't want to
become mannered.
680
00:41:16,682 --> 00:41:18,934
- Oh, no, I don't.
- No.
681
00:41:19,685 --> 00:41:21,311
Thank you, Iris.
682
00:41:39,705 --> 00:41:40,747
Hello.
683
00:41:41,540 --> 00:41:42,666
Daddy, what--?
684
00:41:42,833 --> 00:41:46,545
If it isn't my spell-casting magical
daughter who gave up witchcraft.
685
00:41:47,129 --> 00:41:49,047
You've had quite a day today,
haven't you?
686
00:41:49,214 --> 00:41:52,259
I was provoked. I fell off the wagon.
It was a one-time thing.
687
00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:01,518
So you're not in love
with him anymore?
688
00:42:01,685 --> 00:42:04,062
I have never disliked a man
more in my entire life...
689
00:42:04,229 --> 00:42:06,440
...which proves that I am
completely over him.
690
00:42:06,607 --> 00:42:08,609
Not necessarily. In fact--
691
00:42:08,775 --> 00:42:12,321
Besides, it was just a crush, which is
an intense but superficial attraction...
692
00:42:12,487 --> 00:42:15,991
...that can easily be mistaken for
something deeper. Now go away.
693
00:42:20,162 --> 00:42:22,539
I have a crush on Endora.
694
00:42:22,706 --> 00:42:24,041
What?!
695
00:42:29,171 --> 00:42:31,089
Daddy, where are you?
696
00:42:32,841 --> 00:42:36,345
I said, I have a crush on Endora.
697
00:42:37,012 --> 00:42:39,389
- Daddy! No.
- So lovely.
698
00:42:39,556 --> 00:42:41,975
Her name is not Endora. It's Iris.
699
00:42:42,142 --> 00:42:44,311
Iris. A spring flower.
700
00:42:44,478 --> 00:42:45,812
You can't.
701
00:42:45,979 --> 00:42:49,483
Now that I turned out to be so wrong
about him, my job is all that I've got.
702
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:52,152
- Please don't mess it up.
- How could I do that?
703
00:42:52,319 --> 00:42:54,029
You'll sleep with her,
cheat on her...
704
00:42:54,196 --> 00:42:56,823
...she'll go crazy
and she'll take it out on me.
705
00:42:56,990 --> 00:43:00,744
I don't want you to get involved
with Iris. I mean it.
706
00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:02,829
You can't stop being a witch.
707
00:43:02,996 --> 00:43:05,207
I can too. You'll see.
708
00:43:05,374 --> 00:43:07,542
- Cannot.
- Can too.
709
00:43:07,709 --> 00:43:10,128
- Just accept it.
- Never.
710
00:43:11,463 --> 00:43:12,673
Tell me about Bewitched.
711
00:43:12,839 --> 00:43:16,093
Some have said it's a crass attempt
by the network to market nostalgia...
712
00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:18,929
...rather than take a risk
on new ideas.
713
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:22,933
This isn't the old Bewitched.
It's been refocused.
714
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:25,978
Let's just say the only thing
I won't be doing is this:
715
00:43:31,066 --> 00:43:33,860
So you leave the nose-wiggling
to the witch.
716
00:43:34,361 --> 00:43:35,612
But you do it so well.
717
00:43:36,196 --> 00:43:38,865
Well, I don't know about that.
I did coach her, though.
718
00:43:39,032 --> 00:43:41,535
Can we get a close-up
on the nose?
719
00:43:41,702 --> 00:43:43,078
I'd rather not.
720
00:43:43,620 --> 00:43:44,871
Which camera?
721
00:43:45,497 --> 00:43:46,957
Here? Okay.
722
00:43:50,377 --> 00:43:51,920
Shall we discuss...
723
00:43:52,087 --> 00:43:55,090
...dare we discuss,
Last Year in Katmandu?
724
00:43:55,257 --> 00:43:56,550
Hi, Nina.
725
00:43:57,009 --> 00:44:00,304
Yes! Yes, I am watching him.
726
00:44:01,763 --> 00:44:02,889
What's a dick?
727
00:44:03,056 --> 00:44:05,642
No one ever sets out
to make a bad movie.
728
00:44:06,727 --> 00:44:10,647
What does that have to do
with how obnoxious he is being?
729
00:44:10,814 --> 00:44:12,774
Some movies are career-enders.
730
00:44:12,941 --> 00:44:15,360
Right. Right, we need a plan.
731
00:44:15,527 --> 00:44:17,070
What went wrong?
732
00:44:17,237 --> 00:44:19,197
You know, I hate to point fingers...
733
00:44:19,364 --> 00:44:21,742
...but I'm gonna blame
the Wardrobe Department.
734
00:44:21,908 --> 00:44:23,076
The Wardrobe Department?
735
00:44:23,577 --> 00:44:24,911
I think it got in the way.
736
00:44:25,078 --> 00:44:26,747
Maybe I should quit.
737
00:44:26,913 --> 00:44:28,373
Honey, you can't quit.
738
00:44:28,540 --> 00:44:30,876
Why not? Isn't that what people do?
739
00:44:31,043 --> 00:44:32,586
He has to quit, not you.
740
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:34,338
Yeah, like that's ever
gonna happen.
741
00:44:34,504 --> 00:44:36,089
We have to make him quit.
742
00:44:36,256 --> 00:44:39,134
If we get naked pictures of him
and pictures of farm animals...
743
00:44:39,301 --> 00:44:40,844
....I could just Photoshop them.
744
00:44:41,011 --> 00:44:42,220
That's an excellent idea.
745
00:44:42,387 --> 00:44:44,431
No, no, no. Wait.
Calm down. Calm down.
746
00:44:44,598 --> 00:44:48,185
No, no, no, this not what I wanted.
I wanted something normal.
747
00:44:49,269 --> 00:44:51,271
What should I do?
748
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:12,876
Oh, my.
749
00:45:15,796 --> 00:45:17,631
What a mess.
750
00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:21,301
Your Aunt Clara used to be able
to make a clean landing.
751
00:45:21,468 --> 00:45:22,886
Aunt Clara?
752
00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,016
Oh, Aunt Clara.
753
00:45:28,183 --> 00:45:31,520
Oh, thank goodness you're here.
754
00:45:31,686 --> 00:45:36,316
I am in the middle of a total,
total crisis at work. I'm quitting.
755
00:45:36,483 --> 00:45:38,985
You mustn't quit.
The show must go on.
756
00:45:39,152 --> 00:45:40,487
Isabel, are you all right?
757
00:45:40,654 --> 00:45:44,324
Oh, my friends-- I have friends--
They don't know we're witches.
758
00:45:44,491 --> 00:45:46,159
Mum's the word.
759
00:45:46,535 --> 00:45:49,663
You know, there was an Aunt Clara
on the original Bewitched.
760
00:45:49,830 --> 00:45:51,248
What a coincidence!
761
00:45:51,414 --> 00:45:53,333
She was a witch.
762
00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:55,127
So am I.
763
00:45:58,213 --> 00:46:00,715
She was always screwing up.
764
00:46:01,299 --> 00:46:03,802
- Really?
- I have made up my mind.
765
00:46:03,969 --> 00:46:07,848
I am quitting tomorrow and I'll do
something else, like sailing...
766
00:46:08,014 --> 00:46:09,975
...or polishing fruit.
767
00:46:10,142 --> 00:46:13,186
It's too bad you're not a witch,
you could put a hex on Jack.
768
00:46:13,353 --> 00:46:15,981
Oh, I can. I certainly can.
769
00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:17,440
Who is Jack?
770
00:46:17,607 --> 00:46:19,109
The reason I'm quitting.
771
00:46:19,693 --> 00:46:21,945
Well, why not put a hex on him.
772
00:46:22,571 --> 00:46:24,156
Because I'm giving it up.
773
00:46:24,322 --> 00:46:25,907
- Just a little one.
- Aunt Clara.
774
00:46:26,074 --> 00:46:28,910
Just to get him to behave.
775
00:46:29,077 --> 00:46:30,662
I'll do it.
776
00:46:32,164 --> 00:46:35,959
And then I can keep my job.
Which would help my self-esteem.
777
00:46:36,126 --> 00:46:38,170
You know, there's only
one problem with a hex.
778
00:46:38,336 --> 00:46:39,880
There's no such thing as magic.
779
00:46:40,547 --> 00:46:42,090
So...
780
00:46:42,257 --> 00:46:44,384
...what's your idea,
Little Miss Doubtful?
781
00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:47,053
- Well, I have a Taser.
- Nina.
782
00:46:47,220 --> 00:46:51,516
I think we should Taser him and throw
him into the shark tank at SeaWorld.
783
00:46:52,058 --> 00:46:56,730
No. You think we should do a hex.
784
00:46:58,982 --> 00:47:01,735
I think we should do a hex.
785
00:47:08,575 --> 00:47:10,577
Pinch of jasmine.
786
00:47:11,286 --> 00:47:12,913
Wolfbane.
787
00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:14,998
Grapefruit pith.
788
00:47:15,707 --> 00:47:16,917
Grapefruit pith.
789
00:47:17,083 --> 00:47:18,543
I feel so alive.
790
00:47:19,211 --> 00:47:21,421
I feel like one of those people
I'd make fun of.
791
00:47:21,963 --> 00:47:24,216
I feel like I believe in unicorns.
792
00:47:24,507 --> 00:47:27,928
Did I put in the wolfbane?
I can't remember.
793
00:47:28,178 --> 00:47:30,889
- Aunt Clara.
- Thank you, darling. Thank you.
794
00:47:31,890 --> 00:47:33,308
Oh, well.
795
00:47:53,912 --> 00:47:55,497
Isabel.
796
00:47:57,707 --> 00:47:58,833
Isabel, bo-bel
797
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:00,710
Bonana-fana fo-fel
798
00:48:00,877 --> 00:48:02,545
Fee-fy-fo-fel
799
00:48:02,712 --> 00:48:03,797
Isabel
800
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:05,465
"The Name Game"!
801
00:48:06,633 --> 00:48:09,094
- Oh, boy.
- Good morning.
802
00:48:09,261 --> 00:48:11,638
Randall, take that stupid sign
off that machine.
803
00:48:11,805 --> 00:48:13,556
Free cappuccinos for everyone.
804
00:48:16,268 --> 00:48:18,603
- How we doing? Anyone seen Isabel?
- No, why?
805
00:48:18,770 --> 00:48:20,355
Because I miss her.
806
00:48:20,522 --> 00:48:22,399
- Listen, Jack.
- Yes?
807
00:48:22,565 --> 00:48:25,485
We got the test scores
from the pilot....
808
00:48:25,652 --> 00:48:28,071
How did Isabel do?
Ninety-nine percent in the top box!
809
00:48:28,238 --> 00:48:31,074
Why didn't you tell me?
This is great news.
810
00:48:31,241 --> 00:48:33,660
Of course she got a 99 percent.
Because she's dynamite.
811
00:48:33,827 --> 00:48:35,412
Absolute dynamite.
812
00:48:36,162 --> 00:48:37,706
High-fives all the way around.
813
00:48:37,872 --> 00:48:40,500
But, Jack, there is a problem.
Your scores....
814
00:48:40,667 --> 00:48:44,504
Thirty-two percent.
That's better than zero, huh?
815
00:48:44,671 --> 00:48:46,673
You know what?
That's constructive criticism.
816
00:48:47,757 --> 00:48:50,802
The dog scored higher than me.
He's a cute dog.
817
00:48:50,969 --> 00:48:52,345
What do the comment cards say?
818
00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:54,180
Oh, they don't really....
819
00:48:54,347 --> 00:48:56,516
"Jack Wyatt is a real tool."
820
00:48:57,434 --> 00:48:59,936
But a good tool. Like a Jacksaw!
821
00:49:00,103 --> 00:49:03,982
You know what? Who cares? This just
means we got hard work to do, okay?
822
00:49:04,149 --> 00:49:07,027
Hey, I never said I was perfect.
The important thing is Isabel.
823
00:49:07,402 --> 00:49:08,737
- Isabel.
- Yeah, no question.
824
00:49:08,903 --> 00:49:10,363
- Agreed?
- Totally on board.
825
00:49:10,530 --> 00:49:12,365
Good morning, everyone.
826
00:49:12,532 --> 00:49:13,825
There she is!
827
00:49:13,992 --> 00:49:17,871
Is it just my imagination, or is the room
actually brighter with her here?
828
00:49:18,288 --> 00:49:21,499
Look at this bundle
of miraculous talent.
829
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:25,879
Forget 99, I give her 100! 100!
830
00:49:27,839 --> 00:49:29,382
Rehearsing!
831
00:49:29,674 --> 00:49:31,051
"Interior, apartment, day.
832
00:49:31,217 --> 00:49:35,722
Samantha and Darrin are sitting
in their overcrowded apartment."
833
00:49:36,389 --> 00:49:39,476
Darrin, I think we should buy a house
and I found one that I love.
834
00:49:40,143 --> 00:49:41,978
You nailed that!
835
00:49:42,145 --> 00:49:45,231
I'm about to have a heart attack.
Isn't she great?
836
00:49:45,607 --> 00:49:48,401
And now I kiss her, because
she's in love with our new house.
837
00:49:48,568 --> 00:49:50,904
Oh, you can't kiss me.
I'm not in this scene.
838
00:49:51,071 --> 00:49:52,447
- You're not in the scene?
- No.
839
00:49:52,614 --> 00:49:56,701
No, no, no. She isn't in the scene?
This isn't happening! What?!
840
00:49:56,868 --> 00:50:00,372
She has to be in every scene!
Okay?
841
00:50:00,538 --> 00:50:03,917
Rewrite! Go! Rewrite.
842
00:50:05,585 --> 00:50:07,420
Everyone, Isabel needs a joke.
843
00:50:08,213 --> 00:50:09,798
I would love a joke.
844
00:50:09,964 --> 00:50:11,216
One joke, coming up.
845
00:50:11,383 --> 00:50:13,885
Oh, and then I kiss her
because she's so funny.
846
00:50:14,052 --> 00:50:15,929
And a job. She needs a job.
847
00:50:16,096 --> 00:50:20,308
Yes! Yes! Make this woman the CEO
of a multinational corporation.
848
00:50:20,683 --> 00:50:23,061
- Good idea, Jack.
- No. Great idea.
849
00:50:23,228 --> 00:50:26,022
And then I kiss her
because she's so powerful.
850
00:50:29,609 --> 00:50:32,028
It's too much, what happened?
851
00:50:33,154 --> 00:50:35,698
Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara?
852
00:50:35,865 --> 00:50:38,701
Please pick up the phone,
something terrible is happening.
853
00:50:38,868 --> 00:50:41,287
Something terrible is happening.
854
00:50:41,496 --> 00:50:43,957
I know, I know.
It wasn't supposed to, and--
855
00:50:44,124 --> 00:50:46,292
You should never,
ever get involved with an actor.
856
00:50:46,459 --> 00:50:49,129
I'm not involved with him,
I don't think.
857
00:50:49,295 --> 00:50:51,756
- Witch's honor?
- What?
858
00:50:52,924 --> 00:50:54,509
I'm just being Endora.
859
00:50:55,552 --> 00:50:59,889
Isabel, actors look normal,
sometimes better than normal.
860
00:51:00,098 --> 00:51:03,184
But deep down,
there is no deep down.
861
00:51:03,351 --> 00:51:05,311
I thought you were safe.
He loathed you.
862
00:51:05,478 --> 00:51:06,938
What on earth happened?
863
00:51:07,105 --> 00:51:09,149
A little witchcraft, I suspect.
864
00:51:09,315 --> 00:51:12,402
Even though we weren't going to do it,
were we, darling?
865
00:51:12,819 --> 00:51:16,239
I'm Nigel Bigelow, I'm Isabel's father.
How do you do?
866
00:51:16,406 --> 00:51:18,741
Daddy, we talked about this,
remember?
867
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,661
- I'm....
- I know who you are.
868
00:51:21,828 --> 00:51:23,496
I've seen everything
you've ever done.
869
00:51:23,830 --> 00:51:27,333
Lysistrata in Florence,
Blithe Spirit in New York.
870
00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:30,420
- Daddy!
- But your Endora is a marvel.
871
00:51:30,587 --> 00:51:32,380
It comes so easily, really.
872
00:51:32,547 --> 00:51:34,841
Oh, yes, because I am a witch.
873
00:51:35,008 --> 00:51:36,259
- Oh, really?
- Oh, yes.
874
00:51:36,426 --> 00:51:40,221
I put out all the lights in
Leicester Square just by walking past.
875
00:51:40,388 --> 00:51:42,265
Oh, tell me more.
Tell me everything.
876
00:51:42,432 --> 00:51:45,351
- Oh, please come in.
- Charmed.
877
00:51:47,937 --> 00:51:49,939
This is just.... What--?
878
00:51:50,106 --> 00:51:51,483
Isabel!
879
00:51:51,983 --> 00:51:55,111
Hey! Isabel! Isabel!
880
00:51:56,029 --> 00:51:59,699
Hi! Listen, maybe we could go
to dinner tonight. God, I'm so nervous.
881
00:51:59,866 --> 00:52:02,702
- I don't think so, I have to get home.
- We won't make it a date.
882
00:52:02,869 --> 00:52:05,538
I'll just happen to stop by
and ask if you're hungry.
883
00:52:05,705 --> 00:52:07,123
- No.
- Yes! That's a yes!
884
00:52:07,290 --> 00:52:08,875
- No!
- I'll be by at great.
885
00:52:09,042 --> 00:52:10,710
I mean, I'll be by at 8.
886
00:52:11,044 --> 00:52:13,713
Stop by if you need anything.
I'm right here. Okay.
887
00:52:18,551 --> 00:52:20,303
Aunt Clara!
888
00:52:20,595 --> 00:52:23,598
Undo it! Undo it!
You overdid it! Undo it!
889
00:52:23,765 --> 00:52:25,767
- Oh, dear.
- Aunt Clara!
890
00:52:25,934 --> 00:52:30,438
I'm not too sure how to undo it.
Undoing it's not the same as doing it.
891
00:52:30,605 --> 00:52:34,317
He wants to have dinner.
This isn't what I wanted.
892
00:52:34,484 --> 00:52:35,735
Lorna Doone?
893
00:52:36,027 --> 00:52:37,278
No!
894
00:52:37,445 --> 00:52:41,783
Darling, I'm sure you can undo the hex
if you really want to.
895
00:52:42,116 --> 00:52:43,952
I'm expected in Japan.
896
00:52:46,579 --> 00:52:48,248
That certainly didn't work, did it?
897
00:52:52,418 --> 00:52:53,878
Aunt Clara?
898
00:52:54,128 --> 00:52:56,839
Aunt Clara,
come back here right now.
899
00:52:57,257 --> 00:53:00,051
He's gonna be here any minute.
Aunt Clara!
900
00:53:00,218 --> 00:53:03,054
But that doesn't matter,
because I'm not going out with him.
901
00:53:03,221 --> 00:53:05,306
No, no, I'm not. I'm not!
902
00:53:05,473 --> 00:53:07,016
Oh, I'd better--
903
00:53:10,853 --> 00:53:12,689
Oh, who cares what I look like.
904
00:53:12,855 --> 00:53:14,440
I'm just gonna undo the hex.
905
00:53:14,607 --> 00:53:16,818
I'm not even gonna bother
dressing up.
906
00:53:30,540 --> 00:53:35,086
I'm just gonna open the door,
undo it and slam the door in his face!
907
00:53:35,878 --> 00:53:39,007
Hey. I just happened to be in the
neighborhood with these roses...
908
00:53:39,173 --> 00:53:40,842
...and a Cat Stevens CD...
909
00:53:41,009 --> 00:53:42,302
...and this bracelet...
910
00:53:42,552 --> 00:53:43,845
...and I thought I'd stop by.
911
00:53:44,596 --> 00:53:46,723
- You're sweating.
- Like a pig.
912
00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:49,142
Oh, how divine.
913
00:53:54,147 --> 00:53:55,648
You look stunning.
914
00:53:55,815 --> 00:53:57,859
No! Ravishing.
915
00:53:58,026 --> 00:54:00,403
You look "stunnishing."
916
00:54:03,448 --> 00:54:04,907
Is this your purse?
917
00:54:08,661 --> 00:54:09,996
You're not too cold, are you?
918
00:54:10,246 --> 00:54:11,998
- No.
- You're not too warm?
919
00:54:12,165 --> 00:54:13,416
Okay.
920
00:54:14,167 --> 00:54:16,169
- Are we going somewhere?
- Dinner.
921
00:54:16,919 --> 00:54:19,088
Here. Here you go.
922
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:22,967
I wanna know everything.
923
00:54:23,134 --> 00:54:27,096
You talk, okay?
I'm just gonna listen.
924
00:54:27,263 --> 00:54:31,059
Shed your radiance
and I'll just soak it up like a plant.
925
00:54:31,517 --> 00:54:32,852
Start in kindergarten.
926
00:54:33,978 --> 00:54:36,689
I didn't go to kindergarten.
I was homeschooled.
927
00:54:36,856 --> 00:54:39,108
You were homeschooled? So was I.
928
00:54:40,109 --> 00:54:42,195
How amazing. That's freaky.
929
00:54:42,528 --> 00:54:43,696
I'm getting chills.
930
00:54:43,863 --> 00:54:45,823
Yeah, that is kind of amazing.
931
00:54:45,990 --> 00:54:47,492
My parents were hippies.
Were yours?
932
00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:50,203
- No.
- That's so weird!
933
00:54:50,370 --> 00:54:53,581
My parents were hippies,
and yours weren't. What are the odds?
934
00:54:53,748 --> 00:54:55,541
But we did have incense
and candles.
935
00:54:55,708 --> 00:54:57,168
- So did we.
- You did?
936
00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:59,003
To this day,
incense makes me puke.
937
00:54:59,170 --> 00:55:00,380
Yes, me too!
938
00:55:00,546 --> 00:55:02,215
- Amazing!
- Wow.
939
00:55:02,382 --> 00:55:03,758
I brought duck.
940
00:55:04,550 --> 00:55:05,802
I love duck.
941
00:55:05,968 --> 00:55:08,388
So do I. How amazing is that?
942
00:55:08,554 --> 00:55:10,056
Well, most people love duck.
943
00:55:10,223 --> 00:55:11,933
You know what? No, they don't.
944
00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:14,143
Wait. I wrote you a song.
945
00:55:14,811 --> 00:55:16,521
No one's ever written me a song.
946
00:55:16,688 --> 00:55:18,439
Well, I did.
947
00:55:20,441 --> 00:55:24,654
Hey, pretty lady
948
00:55:25,071 --> 00:55:29,075
Come back here with my heart
949
00:55:29,325 --> 00:55:33,621
Hey, pretty lady
950
00:55:33,871 --> 00:55:37,041
Are you a dream made real?
951
00:55:37,458 --> 00:55:41,379
My soul, you have healed
952
00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:44,757
Make me a better man
953
00:55:45,091 --> 00:55:49,345
I wanna set up residence
954
00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:53,141
In your promised land
955
00:55:53,349 --> 00:55:56,436
Okay, and this is
the power ballad guitar solo.
956
00:56:02,650 --> 00:56:03,735
Promised land!
957
00:56:03,901 --> 00:56:05,403
Now you sing the chorus.
958
00:56:06,738 --> 00:56:08,448
Promised land
959
00:56:09,949 --> 00:56:11,492
Drum solo.
960
00:56:13,619 --> 00:56:14,787
Promised land!
961
00:56:14,954 --> 00:56:16,414
Leg kick.
962
00:56:16,873 --> 00:56:19,000
Okay, I'm gonna break the guitar.
963
00:56:19,167 --> 00:56:20,877
Promised land!
964
00:56:25,631 --> 00:56:27,383
Promised land!
965
00:56:37,685 --> 00:56:39,479
We're about to kiss, aren't we?
966
00:56:39,645 --> 00:56:42,482
I thought so, but thanks for ruining
the moment, Miss Narrator.
967
00:56:45,943 --> 00:56:47,487
Oh, my ruby jewel.
968
00:56:49,989 --> 00:56:52,450
- What?
- My chocolate-covered strawberry.
969
00:56:53,326 --> 00:56:55,620
I wanna bask in our love...
970
00:56:55,787 --> 00:56:58,706
...like a house cat lying in the sun.
971
00:57:00,124 --> 00:57:02,835
Jack, Jack, Jack.
Stop. Stop. I forgot.
972
00:57:03,002 --> 00:57:04,879
Oh, I let myself forget.
973
00:57:05,046 --> 00:57:07,340
It was so nice,
I couldn't help myself, and....
974
00:57:08,007 --> 00:57:09,300
Oh, Jack!
975
00:57:09,717 --> 00:57:12,386
This is sad. This is.... No.
976
00:57:12,553 --> 00:57:14,430
Let's make love in a hot-air balloon.
977
00:57:14,722 --> 00:57:16,974
Let's make love in a candy factory.
978
00:57:17,767 --> 00:57:19,352
Let's make love in a petting zoo.
979
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:20,937
I have to undo this, I do.
980
00:57:21,104 --> 00:57:24,023
Let's make love at SeaWorld,
on the back of a killer whale.
981
00:57:24,190 --> 00:57:26,609
Because it doesn't mean anything
unless it's real.
982
00:57:37,203 --> 00:57:39,497
What witches wish
No mortal needs
983
00:57:39,664 --> 00:57:43,126
Let time repent
And unsow its seeds
984
00:57:43,292 --> 00:57:48,089
And now, I speak the ancient word
of redemption and regret:
985
00:57:48,256 --> 00:57:50,133
Rewind.
986
00:58:24,542 --> 00:58:26,919
So you leave the nose-wiggling
to the witch.
987
00:58:27,086 --> 00:58:29,881
- But you do it so well.
- I did coach her, though.
988
00:58:30,047 --> 00:58:32,592
Can we get a close-up
on the nose?
989
00:58:32,758 --> 00:58:34,051
I'd rather not.
990
00:58:34,594 --> 00:58:35,887
Which camera?
991
00:58:37,555 --> 00:58:39,640
Hello, Nina.
992
00:58:39,807 --> 00:58:42,143
I just knew it was you, that's all.
993
00:58:42,310 --> 00:58:46,272
Yes, he is. He is a giant
male reproductive organ.
994
00:58:46,606 --> 00:58:49,442
We don't need a plan, I already know
what I'm gonna do.
995
00:58:49,609 --> 00:58:52,069
I'm gonna speak to him
about his behavior.
996
00:58:52,236 --> 00:58:57,033
I'm gonna talk to him sensibly and
directly, and I know he will change.
997
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:58,993
You'll see. Bye.
998
00:59:02,997 --> 00:59:05,499
Butt out, Samantha,
I know what I'm doing.
999
00:59:09,253 --> 00:59:10,630
I mean it.
1000
00:59:12,798 --> 00:59:14,258
Jack, Jack, bo-back
1001
00:59:14,425 --> 00:59:16,260
Bonana-fana fo-fack
1002
00:59:16,427 --> 00:59:18,304
Fee-fi-bo-back
1003
00:59:18,471 --> 00:59:19,639
Jack
1004
00:59:20,806 --> 00:59:24,101
Guys, make me 20 cappuccinos.
Bring me the best one.
1005
00:59:24,435 --> 00:59:26,437
Hey, J-Bone. Hey, buddy.
1006
00:59:26,604 --> 00:59:27,939
The test scores are in.
1007
00:59:28,105 --> 00:59:30,316
How'd I do? Ninety?
Hundred? One-twenty.
1008
00:59:30,483 --> 00:59:31,734
- One-forty!
- Good ballpark.
1009
00:59:31,901 --> 00:59:34,904
What did it say?
I got it. I got it right here.
1010
00:59:35,363 --> 00:59:36,614
Thirty-two.
1011
00:59:36,781 --> 00:59:38,199
I got a 32?
1012
00:59:38,866 --> 00:59:40,201
Is that for real?
1013
00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:42,119
The dog scored higher than I did.
1014
00:59:42,286 --> 00:59:45,414
Well, it's not you, Jack, it's Darrin.
1015
00:59:45,581 --> 00:59:48,834
"That Jack Wyatt is a real tool.
We hate him.
1016
00:59:49,043 --> 00:59:51,545
We mean the actor,
not the character."
1017
00:59:53,422 --> 00:59:55,007
Get a grip.
1018
00:59:56,968 --> 00:59:58,511
Hug me.
1019
00:59:58,678 --> 01:00:00,137
Come here.
1020
01:00:03,015 --> 01:00:06,477
I'm gonna be doing dinner theater
in Boca Raton.
1021
01:00:06,644 --> 01:00:09,355
They hate the show,
the whole show.
1022
01:00:09,897 --> 01:00:11,065
They hate everyone on it.
1023
01:00:11,232 --> 01:00:12,692
- Yeah, everybody.
- They did. Yep.
1024
01:00:12,858 --> 01:00:14,652
Isabel must've gotten savaged.
1025
01:00:15,820 --> 01:00:17,613
She got a 99?!
1026
01:00:17,780 --> 01:00:19,115
Ninety-nine? Is this for real?
1027
01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:20,825
Is that a joke?
1028
01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:23,160
She didn't say anything!
1029
01:00:23,327 --> 01:00:25,538
How is it that someone
who doesn't say anything...
1030
01:00:25,705 --> 01:00:27,999
...scores higher than someone
who had all the lines?
1031
01:00:28,541 --> 01:00:29,625
Oh, my....
1032
01:00:29,792 --> 01:00:32,003
Did anyone anticipate this
as a possibility?
1033
01:00:32,169 --> 01:00:33,713
Hindsight's 20/20.
1034
01:00:34,171 --> 01:00:36,549
- Good morning, everyone.
- And they think I'm a tool?!
1035
01:00:36,716 --> 01:00:39,093
I haven't been called a tool
since I was 15!
1036
01:00:39,260 --> 01:00:42,096
Thank you, guys! Thank you!
1037
01:00:42,263 --> 01:00:45,891
You know what?
No one ever liked Darrin! No one!
1038
01:00:46,058 --> 01:00:48,227
Why did we ever think
that was gonna change?
1039
01:00:48,394 --> 01:00:49,645
I have something to say.
1040
01:00:49,812 --> 01:00:53,399
This is unbelievable! A 32?
1041
01:00:53,566 --> 01:00:55,860
That's for real?
A three in front of a two?
1042
01:00:56,027 --> 01:00:57,194
Oh, my God!
1043
01:00:57,361 --> 01:00:58,904
Wait, I have something to say.
1044
01:00:59,071 --> 01:01:01,240
A 32 and she got 99?!
1045
01:01:01,407 --> 01:01:02,575
Were they high?!
1046
01:01:02,742 --> 01:01:05,119
Were the people
in the test group high?
1047
01:01:05,870 --> 01:01:07,580
Did we drug test them?
1048
01:01:07,747 --> 01:01:11,334
Were they just sitting in the studio,
smoking crack, saying:
1049
01:01:11,500 --> 01:01:16,172
"Let's give her a 99 and him a 32.
By the way, I'm high on crack"?!
1050
01:01:16,339 --> 01:01:18,591
I have something to say!
1051
01:01:18,758 --> 01:01:19,925
What?!
1052
01:01:20,092 --> 01:01:21,260
You're a jerk.
1053
01:01:21,886 --> 01:01:23,095
What did you just say?
1054
01:01:26,474 --> 01:01:28,851
I said, you're a jerk!
1055
01:01:29,602 --> 01:01:31,896
Everything is about you.
1056
01:01:32,521 --> 01:01:35,608
You are selfish.
And you are self-centred.
1057
01:01:35,775 --> 01:01:39,153
And you lied to me, you said you
needed me. You don't need anyone!
1058
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:42,281
Listen, sweetie, why don't you go to
your trailer and take a Midol?
1059
01:01:42,448 --> 01:01:44,617
Hey! You be quiet,
or I'll give you a tail!
1060
01:01:45,868 --> 01:01:47,620
- Just calm down.
- You sit down!
1061
01:01:49,163 --> 01:01:50,623
Sit down!
1062
01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:56,170
This show is supposed to be
about a marriage.
1063
01:01:56,337 --> 01:02:01,467
A real marriage, with real problems,
like what color to paint the kitchen...
1064
01:02:01,634 --> 01:02:04,637
...or, I don't know, other problems,
I can't even think of them now.
1065
01:02:04,804 --> 01:02:07,056
But the only problems you care about
are your own!
1066
01:02:07,223 --> 01:02:10,768
No wonder the audience
doesn't like this show!
1067
01:02:11,352 --> 01:02:13,145
A witch marries a mortal.
1068
01:02:13,312 --> 01:02:15,898
Who in their right mind
would want to marry you?
1069
01:02:16,065 --> 01:02:17,942
- Hey!
- Excuse me. That's it. You're fired.
1070
01:02:18,943 --> 01:02:21,821
Doesn't matter. I quit!
1071
01:02:22,655 --> 01:02:24,990
Yeah! So...
1072
01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:27,326
...you better call my agent.
1073
01:02:27,493 --> 01:02:28,702
You don't have an agent.
1074
01:02:29,161 --> 01:02:31,414
Then call my cable man!
1075
01:02:41,715 --> 01:02:43,634
Sorry. So....
1076
01:02:44,510 --> 01:02:45,594
You all right?
1077
01:02:45,761 --> 01:02:47,930
No one's talked to me like that
in 20 years.
1078
01:02:48,097 --> 01:02:50,349
Once a week a woman
talks to me like that.
1079
01:02:50,516 --> 01:02:53,644
She just stripped me bare
and stuck the knife in.
1080
01:02:53,811 --> 01:02:55,896
Let's go to The Peninsula
and get some oysters.
1081
01:02:56,063 --> 01:02:57,481
You know what I think?
1082
01:02:57,648 --> 01:03:01,360
- Hey. The woman needs a part.
- I'm sorry?
1083
01:03:01,527 --> 01:03:04,196
I mean, if you got Sammy Sosa,
you don't bench him.
1084
01:03:04,363 --> 01:03:07,825
If you got Gorbachev in the ballet,
you let him dance the big number.
1085
01:03:07,992 --> 01:03:09,827
I don't think Gorbachev
was a dancer.
1086
01:03:09,994 --> 01:03:13,456
Yes, he was, Richie,
he absolutely was. Look it up.
1087
01:03:19,128 --> 01:03:21,297
Isabel! Hey!
1088
01:03:21,464 --> 01:03:22,882
Hey, Isabel!
1089
01:03:23,048 --> 01:03:24,884
Wait, wait, wait, don't go!
1090
01:03:25,050 --> 01:03:26,343
Isabel!
1091
01:03:26,510 --> 01:03:30,014
Please don't go. Please don't go.
That was incredible.
1092
01:03:30,181 --> 01:03:32,433
- What?
- Just now. That.
1093
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:36,395
I mean, you yelled at me.
You were up-front, and honest...
1094
01:03:36,562 --> 01:03:39,231
...and you called me out
on all my crap.
1095
01:03:39,398 --> 01:03:41,317
It was just great.
1096
01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:43,277
Oh, God, I'm hyperventilating.
1097
01:03:43,444 --> 01:03:45,070
I've never done anything like this.
1098
01:03:45,237 --> 01:03:48,240
It was very hard,
but secretly quite thrilling.
1099
01:03:48,407 --> 01:03:52,453
Even my ex-wife, she never yelled.
She just locked me out.
1100
01:03:52,620 --> 01:03:55,581
In my family,
we usually just disappear.
1101
01:03:55,748 --> 01:03:59,084
No, no, don't disappear, Isabel.
One more show.
1102
01:03:59,251 --> 01:04:00,586
One more show.
1103
01:04:00,753 --> 01:04:03,923
- I don't think so.
- No, one more taping. Please?
1104
01:04:04,089 --> 01:04:08,594
It's just that I'm feeling that--
I'm feeling like maybe....
1105
01:04:08,761 --> 01:04:11,764
- I'm sorry.
- What'd you say?
1106
01:04:13,098 --> 01:04:16,143
I'm sorry for how I've been.
I'm sorry.
1107
01:04:16,310 --> 01:04:17,478
You're sweating again.
1108
01:04:17,645 --> 01:04:19,104
I know, just....
1109
01:04:19,271 --> 01:04:21,065
I just-- Look, one more.
1110
01:04:21,232 --> 01:04:23,108
I love it when you sweat.
1111
01:04:23,275 --> 01:04:25,945
One more! Just one more.
1112
01:04:26,111 --> 01:04:29,949
And the second I'm being a jerk,
you can yell, "Hey! He's being a jerk!"
1113
01:04:30,115 --> 01:04:32,201
And we'll shut the whole thing down,
I promise.
1114
01:04:32,368 --> 01:04:34,119
We'll burn down the sets...
1115
01:04:34,286 --> 01:04:37,206
...and sell the costumes,
and give the money to little children.
1116
01:04:37,373 --> 01:04:39,208
I mean, that's one
possible scenario.
1117
01:04:39,750 --> 01:04:41,794
You want me to say
"He's being a jerk"?
1118
01:04:41,961 --> 01:04:43,712
Yeah. Or you can yell, I mean....
1119
01:04:43,879 --> 01:04:45,673
He's being a jerk!
1120
01:04:46,006 --> 01:04:48,467
He's being a jerk!
1121
01:04:48,634 --> 01:04:50,052
Yes.
1122
01:04:53,597 --> 01:04:56,600
I can't just walk back in there now.
1123
01:04:56,767 --> 01:04:59,645
Once you show up on a golf cart,
believe me, all is forgiven.
1124
01:05:00,020 --> 01:05:01,313
I've done it a lot of times.
1125
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:04,358
But I was fired.
Oh, no. That's right, I quit.
1126
01:05:04,525 --> 01:05:07,069
Yeah. Here, let me carry your plant.
1127
01:05:16,704 --> 01:05:18,330
Honey, your mother's here.
1128
01:05:18,497 --> 01:05:19,832
Are you two getting along?
1129
01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:21,667
Not exactly.
1130
01:05:25,713 --> 01:05:27,715
- Like this?
- You're doing great.
1131
01:05:27,881 --> 01:05:30,050
Really, really great. One more time.
1132
01:05:46,191 --> 01:05:49,903
So it says here that marriage
can lead to a loss of passion.
1133
01:05:50,070 --> 01:05:54,241
It's true.
I feel empty and bored already.
1134
01:06:01,123 --> 01:06:03,709
- Oh, great. It's you.
- Mother!
1135
01:06:04,168 --> 01:06:06,170
I see you two are
actually getting along?
1136
01:06:06,337 --> 01:06:09,214
Endora, you rancid fruit bag,
get out of my room.
1137
01:06:09,381 --> 01:06:12,134
- Darrin!
- And my daughter is happy?
1138
01:06:12,301 --> 01:06:16,555
That is the cruelest twist of all.
1139
01:06:19,767 --> 01:06:24,605
I am happy, Darrin.
Real, honest, no-spells happy.
1140
01:06:28,734 --> 01:06:30,402
And cut!
1141
01:06:34,281 --> 01:06:35,491
Actors, cut.
1142
01:06:39,119 --> 01:06:41,121
Really, cut now.
1143
01:06:41,705 --> 01:06:44,750
You were great today.
Just absolutely amazing.
1144
01:06:44,917 --> 01:06:46,919
I don't think I've ever had
so much fun.
1145
01:06:47,086 --> 01:06:48,879
Acting is fun.
1146
01:06:49,463 --> 01:06:51,840
That is a profoundly true thing.
1147
01:06:54,218 --> 01:06:55,719
Would you like a water chestnut?
1148
01:06:55,886 --> 01:06:58,347
I'd love a water chestnut.
1149
01:07:04,978 --> 01:07:07,147
I'm gonna teach you
everything I know...
1150
01:07:07,606 --> 01:07:08,774
...starting with...
1151
01:07:09,942 --> 01:07:11,568
...the eye thing.
1152
01:07:11,735 --> 01:07:14,530
The famous crazy-eye thing
of mine.
1153
01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:16,073
Okay?
1154
01:07:20,077 --> 01:07:22,663
This almost won me
a Golden Globe.
1155
01:07:22,830 --> 01:07:24,415
Almost.
1156
01:07:25,666 --> 01:07:27,376
- Is that it?
- That's good.
1157
01:07:28,127 --> 01:07:29,878
Oh, that's even better.
1158
01:07:30,295 --> 01:07:33,799
This is the "I just realized things
are worse than they seem" thing.
1159
01:07:33,966 --> 01:07:35,968
Also known as "the Yikes Take."
1160
01:07:38,429 --> 01:07:39,471
Yikes!
1161
01:07:40,597 --> 01:07:41,974
Wow.
1162
01:07:42,766 --> 01:07:44,143
Yikes!
1163
01:07:44,935 --> 01:07:46,145
- That was terrible.
- It's okay.
1164
01:07:46,311 --> 01:07:49,273
- No, I was terrible.
- I don't think mine was good, either.
1165
01:07:50,149 --> 01:07:52,067
That's it. I'm out of tricks.
1166
01:07:52,234 --> 01:07:54,820
- What about the funny walk you do?
- The funny walk?
1167
01:07:54,987 --> 01:07:56,613
- You don't wanna see the walk.
- I do.
1168
01:07:56,780 --> 01:07:57,990
Funny walk is embarrassing.
1169
01:07:58,282 --> 01:07:59,616
I'd like to see it.
1170
01:07:59,783 --> 01:08:01,201
Yeah?
1171
01:08:02,286 --> 01:08:04,830
Okay. Let's go to our place.
1172
01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:09,752
Magic hour.
1173
01:08:16,425 --> 01:08:18,844
- Is that it?
- That's great.
1174
01:08:19,511 --> 01:08:21,847
It's much harder than it looks.
1175
01:08:44,411 --> 01:08:46,705
Five, six, seven, eight.
1176
01:09:00,969 --> 01:09:02,888
- Move back!
- Hey!
1177
01:10:00,112 --> 01:10:03,824
Something magical happened
all by itself.
1178
01:10:07,327 --> 01:10:09,162
Table read in 10 minutes!
1179
01:10:09,329 --> 01:10:10,581
Okay, close it up!
1180
01:10:11,623 --> 01:10:13,959
- Good morning, everyone.
- Morning, Jack.
1181
01:10:16,545 --> 01:10:19,715
Look, Jack, I just need to talk to you
about a couple of these things.
1182
01:10:19,882 --> 01:10:22,092
Number one,
we're thinking about moving...
1183
01:10:22,259 --> 01:10:25,304
...the whole kitchen scene.
Just-- It's such--
1184
01:10:25,470 --> 01:10:26,680
It's a funny scene.
1185
01:10:26,847 --> 01:10:30,100
It's really funny.
We'd like to get it in a little earlier.
1186
01:10:30,267 --> 01:10:33,854
So probably what we're gonna do is
switch it with the office.
1187
01:10:35,647 --> 01:10:39,026
But we're gonna drop that
to a little later on in the show.
1188
01:10:40,694 --> 01:10:44,489
Dude. Dudes, are you watching Jack
throw the vibe to Isabel right now?
1189
01:10:44,656 --> 01:10:46,408
How are you?
1190
01:10:49,661 --> 01:10:51,330
I'm great.
1191
01:10:56,293 --> 01:10:57,794
That's for you.
1192
01:10:57,961 --> 01:10:59,504
Thank you.
1193
01:11:01,798 --> 01:11:03,759
- Call me.
- That's fantastic.
1194
01:11:04,176 --> 01:11:05,677
Stop.
1195
01:11:05,844 --> 01:11:07,012
Fine.
1196
01:11:07,179 --> 01:11:09,431
Yeah. I mean,
I can find something for him.
1197
01:11:09,598 --> 01:11:13,268
I'll put him in a little part with maybe
no lines or anything like that.
1198
01:11:13,435 --> 01:11:16,063
What is going on
between you and Jack?
1199
01:11:16,229 --> 01:11:17,856
Nothing is going on.
1200
01:11:18,023 --> 01:11:20,025
We had a date and we kissed...
1201
01:11:20,192 --> 01:11:22,819
...and now we just wanna spend
all of our time together.
1202
01:11:22,986 --> 01:11:25,989
That is the very definition
of something going on.
1203
01:11:26,156 --> 01:11:30,535
And you know what?
I didn't use any tricks. I am trick-free.
1204
01:11:30,702 --> 01:11:32,955
Oh, my God, it's her.
1205
01:11:33,997 --> 01:11:35,332
- Who?
- Jack's wife.
1206
01:11:35,499 --> 01:11:39,336
I saw a picture of her in InStyle
when she was the fashion "don't."
1207
01:11:39,503 --> 01:11:41,588
Excuse me. I'm looking for Jack.
1208
01:11:41,755 --> 01:11:43,882
You must be Samantha.
1209
01:11:44,049 --> 01:11:45,717
You look just like the old one.
1210
01:11:46,510 --> 01:11:48,303
Thank you so much.
1211
01:11:48,470 --> 01:11:50,389
Oh, excuse me.
1212
01:11:51,098 --> 01:11:52,391
Love the nose.
1213
01:11:52,975 --> 01:11:54,017
Good work.
1214
01:11:54,893 --> 01:11:58,397
There he is. There's my guy.
1215
01:11:58,563 --> 01:12:00,315
I've missed him so much.
1216
01:12:00,691 --> 01:12:05,529
Let's just say the "Do Not Disturb" sign
will be on the doorknob tonight.
1217
01:12:10,075 --> 01:12:11,743
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, God!
1218
01:12:11,910 --> 01:12:14,788
Help me lift it. Help me lift it.
Slowly, slowly, slowly.
1219
01:12:14,955 --> 01:12:16,581
That was a little harsh.
1220
01:12:21,753 --> 01:12:23,088
I've missed him so much.
1221
01:12:23,463 --> 01:12:28,051
Let's just say the "Do Not Disturb" sign
will be on the doorknob tonight.
1222
01:12:30,303 --> 01:12:32,806
- Sheila.
- Hi, baby.
1223
01:12:32,973 --> 01:12:34,433
What are you doing here?
1224
01:12:34,599 --> 01:12:37,519
You want my car?
My grandmother's brooch.
1225
01:12:37,686 --> 01:12:40,105
Oh! You want more money.
1226
01:12:40,272 --> 01:12:42,733
Ding-ding-ding! Correct answer.
1227
01:12:43,275 --> 01:12:44,568
No.
1228
01:12:45,569 --> 01:12:48,447
- I want you back.
- What about Captain Underpants?
1229
01:12:48,613 --> 01:12:52,242
I'm through with him.
I love you, Jack.
1230
01:12:52,409 --> 01:12:55,746
Oh, wait, wait, I get it. You heard
that the show's getting picked up.
1231
01:12:56,288 --> 01:12:58,457
I heard it's gonna be a hit.
1232
01:12:58,790 --> 01:13:00,792
But so what?
1233
01:13:01,084 --> 01:13:04,254
I want you. I want my husband.
1234
01:13:07,132 --> 01:13:09,634
You know, a week ago
I would've fallen for that.
1235
01:13:11,511 --> 01:13:13,764
But now there's someone else.
1236
01:13:13,930 --> 01:13:16,808
Someone who's incapable of guile.
1237
01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:18,143
What's guile?
1238
01:13:19,269 --> 01:13:20,479
I'm not gonna do it.
1239
01:13:20,645 --> 01:13:22,147
I think it means tricks.
1240
01:13:24,441 --> 01:13:27,152
- I love you, baby.
- No, I'm not.
1241
01:13:29,738 --> 01:13:31,448
Maybe I will.
1242
01:13:39,081 --> 01:13:41,792
- What the heck is going on?!
- Joey.
1243
01:13:41,958 --> 01:13:44,628
This place is spooked. I quit.
1244
01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:46,505
Joey. Joey, come back here.
1245
01:13:46,671 --> 01:13:49,007
Get me a mirror! Jack!
1246
01:13:49,841 --> 01:13:52,010
- Jack!
- Are you okay?
1247
01:13:52,511 --> 01:13:54,012
Am I okay?!
1248
01:13:54,179 --> 01:13:57,140
And one more time.
1249
01:13:58,183 --> 01:14:03,355
I'm fine. And I'm signing
the divorce papers right now.
1250
01:14:04,147 --> 01:14:05,690
You are?
1251
01:14:07,192 --> 01:14:08,527
Maybe two.
1252
01:14:09,569 --> 01:14:12,864
And I'm moving out of the house
this afternoon.
1253
01:14:13,657 --> 01:14:15,325
Where are you going?
1254
01:14:16,368 --> 01:14:17,911
Reykjavík.
1255
01:14:18,703 --> 01:14:20,831
- Where is it?
- Iceland.
1256
01:14:21,873 --> 01:14:23,834
I love ice.
1257
01:14:24,417 --> 01:14:28,130
Goodbye, everyone!
I'm off to Reykjavík!
1258
01:14:30,090 --> 01:14:31,341
Oh, my God.
1259
01:14:31,508 --> 01:14:33,051
Everyone, did you just see that?
1260
01:14:33,218 --> 01:14:36,012
She's gonna sign the papers!
This is incredible.
1261
01:14:36,179 --> 01:14:38,682
- Isabel.
- Party at my house!
1262
01:14:38,849 --> 01:14:40,517
You're out of control.
1263
01:15:06,918 --> 01:15:10,589
Every time I think I have things
nailed down, I just lose it.
1264
01:15:10,755 --> 01:15:14,426
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself.
It's gonna be okay.
1265
01:15:14,718 --> 01:15:17,387
Oh, whoa. Who is that?
1266
01:15:17,554 --> 01:15:19,055
No, Maria. No.
1267
01:15:19,222 --> 01:15:20,724
Too late.
1268
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:23,185
Second of all, like--
1269
01:15:23,727 --> 01:15:28,106
Everyone, can I have your attention,
please? I just wanna say a few words.
1270
01:15:29,399 --> 01:15:32,777
Randall, can we deal with this?
Thank you.
1271
01:15:34,613 --> 01:15:38,325
Where do I start? What a night.
Is everyone having fun? Yeah?
1272
01:15:38,491 --> 01:15:43,788
Great. I'm so grateful
for so many things tonight.
1273
01:15:45,081 --> 01:15:49,294
The show, all of you amazing
and talented people...
1274
01:15:49,461 --> 01:15:52,047
...and especially Isabel.
1275
01:15:53,465 --> 01:15:55,634
To a woman who'd never trick me
into thinking...
1276
01:15:55,800 --> 01:15:57,844
...she was something she wasn't.
1277
01:15:59,638 --> 01:16:02,098
From now on,
everyone tells the truth. Okay?
1278
01:16:02,474 --> 01:16:04,684
Except if I don't look good,
say I do anyway.
1279
01:16:09,522 --> 01:16:13,068
Isabel, you are a beautiful person.
1280
01:16:13,235 --> 01:16:14,486
And that's the truth.
1281
01:16:15,028 --> 01:16:16,613
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
1282
01:16:16,780 --> 01:16:17,989
Have a great time.
1283
01:16:18,156 --> 01:16:19,324
Cheers.
1284
01:16:19,491 --> 01:16:21,326
Don't break anything, okay?
1285
01:16:21,493 --> 01:16:23,495
- We won't, Jack.
- Thank you.
1286
01:16:33,546 --> 01:16:35,090
I hope that touching speech...
1287
01:16:35,257 --> 01:16:37,717
...hasn't made you think
that you should tell the truth.
1288
01:16:37,884 --> 01:16:39,678
- I'm going to.
- Oh, don't be silly.
1289
01:16:39,844 --> 01:16:43,348
And he's gonna accept me. He's got to.
You can't live with a secret like that.
1290
01:16:43,515 --> 01:16:46,393
Of course you can.
For thousands of years.
1291
01:16:46,851 --> 01:16:50,397
Don't do it. Big mistake. Won't work.
1292
01:16:50,689 --> 01:16:53,692
Well, hello there.
Now, don't tell me....
1293
01:16:53,858 --> 01:16:55,568
Coconut shrimps.
1294
01:16:55,735 --> 01:16:57,195
Oh, yes. Would you like one?
1295
01:16:57,362 --> 01:16:58,822
Yes. Thank you.
1296
01:16:58,989 --> 01:17:01,866
Do you know, you're quite fetching.
1297
01:17:02,701 --> 01:17:04,411
And I'm Nigel Bigelow.
1298
01:17:05,829 --> 01:17:10,792
Yes. I will sleep with you because
I have a thing for father figures.
1299
01:17:10,959 --> 01:17:12,085
Well, that's great, then.
1300
01:17:12,252 --> 01:17:15,046
But in the morning, I will not get
90 percent of your jokes...
1301
01:17:15,213 --> 01:17:19,342
...and I'll go on and on about
opening an aerobics center in Agoura.
1302
01:17:24,264 --> 01:17:25,974
Are you looking for me?
1303
01:17:26,141 --> 01:17:27,851
Missing you, actually.
1304
01:17:28,393 --> 01:17:30,854
- How strange.
- Not really.
1305
01:17:44,868 --> 01:17:48,455
I'm just gonna say it like it's
a completely matter-of-fact thing.
1306
01:17:48,621 --> 01:17:50,790
- Guess what.
- What?
1307
01:17:51,124 --> 01:17:52,876
I'm a witch.
1308
01:17:53,418 --> 01:17:56,212
- Guess what.
- What?
1309
01:17:56,379 --> 01:17:58,256
I'm a Clippers fan.
1310
01:18:00,425 --> 01:18:02,635
Yeah, it's not like it's a big deal.
1311
01:18:02,802 --> 01:18:07,140
I'm not a bad witch, and we're getting
it out there and telling the truth, right?
1312
01:18:07,307 --> 01:18:09,934
Right. And I'm not just a fan.
1313
01:18:10,101 --> 01:18:12,437
I made the mistake of buying
courtside seats.
1314
01:18:12,604 --> 01:18:17,108
No, no, no, really. Jack. Jack, I am.
I, Isabel Bigelow, I'm a witch.
1315
01:18:17,275 --> 01:18:19,736
Okay, great. So you're a witch.
1316
01:18:19,903 --> 01:18:21,780
Come on, let's make out
in the hall closet.
1317
01:18:21,946 --> 01:18:23,990
- Jack.
- Okay, okay, I'll play along.
1318
01:18:24,157 --> 01:18:26,701
Like it's an improv. Prove it.
1319
01:18:27,577 --> 01:18:31,498
So I just said, "Listen, you guys,
I believe Cher has another hit in her."
1320
01:18:31,664 --> 01:18:33,291
- Really?
- Yeah.
1321
01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:35,960
Wow, fantastic trick.
1322
01:18:36,127 --> 01:18:37,420
Not a trick.
1323
01:18:39,631 --> 01:18:41,841
Whoa! How'd you do that?
1324
01:18:42,509 --> 01:18:45,303
To the most powerful witch ever.
1325
01:18:45,470 --> 01:18:47,472
Can you make an umbrella appear
in this drink?
1326
01:18:47,639 --> 01:18:48,932
- I can.
- Really?
1327
01:18:49,599 --> 01:18:51,643
That's amazing.
1328
01:18:51,976 --> 01:18:54,813
I had no idea you were
an amateur magician.
1329
01:18:55,980 --> 01:18:59,275
Hey. Wait. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, I'm talking to you.
1330
01:18:59,442 --> 01:19:01,986
Hey, Isabel. I'm--
1331
01:19:02,821 --> 01:19:07,200
Jack, listen to me, I was born a witch,
my parents are witches, I'm a witch.
1332
01:19:07,367 --> 01:19:08,993
- A real witch.
- That's right, Isabel.
1333
01:19:09,160 --> 01:19:11,121
- You go, girl.
- Isabel, you tell him.
1334
01:19:13,415 --> 01:19:14,791
That is cool. That's great.
1335
01:19:14,958 --> 01:19:17,919
You are very frustrating.
1336
01:19:19,087 --> 01:19:21,840
Did you have some Daniel Day-Lewis
thing happening here?
1337
01:19:23,550 --> 01:19:25,009
How's it going?
1338
01:19:25,176 --> 01:19:26,719
I'm leaving.
1339
01:19:30,056 --> 01:19:31,641
Thank you.
1340
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:38,398
Hey there. I have hepatitis C.
1341
01:19:42,485 --> 01:19:44,195
Isabel? Isabel.
1342
01:19:44,696 --> 01:19:48,992
Isabel, what's going on?
Come back to the party.
1343
01:19:49,159 --> 01:19:52,203
What are you--?
Where are you going? What--?
1344
01:19:52,954 --> 01:19:55,039
Wow. That's really cool.
Did Props make that?
1345
01:19:55,206 --> 01:19:57,709
- I keep trying to tell you--
- Can I get your car, miss?
1346
01:19:57,876 --> 01:20:00,211
She doesn't need her car,
she has her broomstick.
1347
01:20:00,378 --> 01:20:02,464
- You think I'm nuts, don't you?
- Of course not.
1348
01:20:02,630 --> 01:20:06,217
I know plenty of women who
carry around collapsible broomsticks.
1349
01:20:06,384 --> 01:20:09,345
- I'll get the car.
- It won't be there, I sent it home.
1350
01:20:09,512 --> 01:20:11,723
This looks so real.
I can't even see the buttons.
1351
01:20:11,890 --> 01:20:13,391
It is real.
1352
01:20:13,892 --> 01:20:15,101
Flies too.
1353
01:20:15,268 --> 01:20:16,728
Oh, I'd love to see that.
1354
01:20:16,895 --> 01:20:18,396
- Hang on.
- What?
1355
01:20:25,904 --> 01:20:27,363
Put me down!
1356
01:20:31,910 --> 01:20:33,203
I kept trying to tell you.
1357
01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:37,790
It's no big deal, Jack.
1358
01:20:37,957 --> 01:20:40,126
- It's no big deal.
- This is a huge deal!
1359
01:20:40,293 --> 01:20:42,587
We can work this out.
It's just who I happen to be.
1360
01:20:42,754 --> 01:20:44,047
- Get away from me.
- What?
1361
01:20:44,214 --> 01:20:45,840
You tricked me!
You put spells on me!
1362
01:20:46,007 --> 01:20:48,885
Well, only a few, yes, I did.
But I took most of them off.
1363
01:20:49,052 --> 01:20:50,803
Help! Someone help!
1364
01:20:52,639 --> 01:20:55,099
Jack. I thought this would be okay.
1365
01:20:55,266 --> 01:20:56,559
How would it be okay?!
1366
01:20:56,726 --> 01:20:58,436
Because it's me. It's still me.
1367
01:20:58,603 --> 01:21:01,731
- I'm a little freaked out now.
- I know, but I can't change what I am.
1368
01:21:01,898 --> 01:21:04,234
- Are you crazy? Are you even human?
- Jack!
1369
01:21:04,400 --> 01:21:05,777
- Am I gonna get pregnant?
- What?
1370
01:21:05,944 --> 01:21:07,612
Because I can't get pregnant
right now!
1371
01:21:07,779 --> 01:21:09,656
How does this work?
Will I get webbed feet?
1372
01:21:09,822 --> 01:21:11,032
You're hurting my feelings.
1373
01:21:11,199 --> 01:21:12,742
Shoo! Shoo!
1374
01:21:12,909 --> 01:21:14,118
- Shoo?
- Shoo!
1375
01:21:14,285 --> 01:21:16,746
- Now you're making me angry!
- Go! Scat!
1376
01:21:16,913 --> 01:21:18,289
- You want me to leave?
- Yes!
1377
01:21:18,456 --> 01:21:19,707
- Fine!
- Fine!
1378
01:21:19,874 --> 01:21:21,125
- Fine!
- Fine!
1379
01:21:21,292 --> 01:21:22,460
Goodbye, Jack.
1380
01:21:33,513 --> 01:21:35,306
You jerk!
1381
01:21:44,524 --> 01:21:47,277
Sorry, Mr. Wyatt, I can't find her car.
1382
01:22:06,170 --> 01:22:08,298
So she quit. So what?
1383
01:22:08,464 --> 01:22:09,674
How's Jack taking all this?
1384
01:22:09,841 --> 01:22:13,011
Let me tell you guys something.
Jack Wyatt's like a jet fighter pilot.
1385
01:22:13,177 --> 01:22:16,472
Nothing rattles him.
I'm sure he's just at the gym.
1386
01:22:16,806 --> 01:22:19,684
Hey, okay. Stop holding my arm.
1387
01:22:19,851 --> 01:22:23,021
Found him picking up pennies
out of a shopping-mall water fountain.
1388
01:22:23,187 --> 01:22:26,482
Thank you so much, officer.
How much do I tip you for that?
1389
01:22:26,649 --> 01:22:28,818
- You don't tip me.
- Hey, Jack.
1390
01:22:28,985 --> 01:22:30,194
- Hey, all.
- Hey, big guy.
1391
01:22:30,361 --> 01:22:31,863
- How's it going?
- What's up, Jack?
1392
01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:33,072
- You all right?
- Boy.
1393
01:22:33,239 --> 01:22:36,534
Yeah, I'm all right.
I've never been better. Come on.
1394
01:22:36,701 --> 01:22:38,995
What's the bottle of ketchup for?
1395
01:22:39,370 --> 01:22:40,788
- Come again?
- The....
1396
01:22:42,332 --> 01:22:45,376
Oh. Forgot to leave it
at this diner in Mexico.
1397
01:22:45,543 --> 01:22:47,503
Don't freak out on us, Jack.
1398
01:22:47,712 --> 01:22:50,214
- You're fired.
- Classic.
1399
01:22:51,049 --> 01:22:52,342
- Anyone have a light?
- Yo.
1400
01:22:52,508 --> 01:22:53,801
- I do.
- Right here, pal.
1401
01:22:54,093 --> 01:22:55,887
Everybody. Let's just calm down.
1402
01:22:56,471 --> 01:23:00,475
We've only shot two episodes.
We've got 10 weeks before we air.
1403
01:23:00,642 --> 01:23:03,728
- So we recast. Piece of cake.
- Next.
1404
01:23:03,895 --> 01:23:06,731
I don't know. It'll be hard to find
somebody with those scores.
1405
01:23:06,898 --> 01:23:08,232
It's good scores, good scores.
1406
01:23:08,399 --> 01:23:10,151
- She's a witch.
- That's more like it.
1407
01:23:10,318 --> 01:23:12,487
You just keep
telling yourself that, man.
1408
01:23:12,654 --> 01:23:13,696
I'm fine, really.
1409
01:23:13,863 --> 01:23:17,492
I mean, last night I ate three burritos
and smashed every dish in my house.
1410
01:23:18,368 --> 01:23:21,871
Isabel. You can't let this guy
ruin your life.
1411
01:23:22,038 --> 01:23:23,748
They're recasting your role.
1412
01:23:23,915 --> 01:23:26,167
They're recasting my role already?
1413
01:23:26,542 --> 01:23:29,587
- Well, you quit.
- Tough town.
1414
01:23:29,754 --> 01:23:32,423
- I mean, like, what happened?
- He said I wasn't human.
1415
01:23:32,590 --> 01:23:36,427
And he waved a tree branch
at me. Like:
1416
01:23:37,095 --> 01:23:38,429
There must be a solution.
1417
01:23:38,596 --> 01:23:40,181
No, there isn't.
1418
01:23:40,515 --> 01:23:45,395
We're at the Coffee Bean
and there is no solution.
1419
01:23:45,728 --> 01:23:47,355
I love you, Jack!
1420
01:23:47,522 --> 01:23:49,440
Jack, I dreamt about you last night!
1421
01:23:49,607 --> 01:23:51,526
Jack, remember me? Amber?
1422
01:23:55,279 --> 01:23:56,781
Oh, my stars.
1423
01:23:56,948 --> 01:24:00,284
Darrin's coming home
and I haven't even made dinner.
1424
01:24:06,332 --> 01:24:07,417
What?
1425
01:24:07,583 --> 01:24:09,419
You're great. You want anything?
1426
01:24:10,670 --> 01:24:12,797
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much, that was--
1427
01:24:12,964 --> 01:24:14,257
Thank you.
1428
01:24:39,657 --> 01:24:41,451
Boo! Trick or treat!
1429
01:24:43,995 --> 01:24:45,663
You guys look great.
1430
01:24:47,123 --> 01:24:48,458
Happy Halloween.
1431
01:24:49,167 --> 01:24:50,376
Mommy!
1432
01:24:51,335 --> 01:24:54,338
I'm sorry I don't have any candy.
1433
01:25:05,975 --> 01:25:08,519
Hi, everyone, and welcome
once again to Jeopardy!
1434
01:25:08,686 --> 01:25:11,189
Another exciting half-hour
of answers and questions...
1435
01:25:11,355 --> 01:25:14,776
...with these categories
in our first round of play.
1436
01:25:18,029 --> 01:25:20,573
First off, "Cheese."
1437
01:25:20,740 --> 01:25:25,203
Next, "Things That End In '-Zing.'"
1438
01:25:27,580 --> 01:25:29,874
{\an8}I have no idea where we are.
1439
01:25:30,041 --> 01:25:33,294
I mean, I literally could not find
Vietnam on a map.
1440
01:25:33,461 --> 01:25:35,046
And now we're about to die here?
1441
01:25:36,214 --> 01:25:38,299
I think it's next to Argentina.
1442
01:25:38,466 --> 01:25:41,093
Well, at least nobody shot at us yet.
1443
01:25:44,013 --> 01:25:45,681
Yikes! That's not good.
1444
01:25:45,848 --> 01:25:47,016
"Yikes."
1445
01:25:56,234 --> 01:25:58,736
I think the lions are here, Atticus.
1446
01:26:04,659 --> 01:26:08,538
{\an8}And there's Willy,
doing his famous Willy Walk.
1447
01:26:24,595 --> 01:26:26,556
Sherpa!
1448
01:26:31,686 --> 01:26:33,604
We've got to go.
1449
01:26:37,108 --> 01:26:40,945
Don't look at me like that.
It's the only solution.
1450
01:26:47,076 --> 01:26:51,455
Isabel, would you please join me
in the dining alcove? Thank you.
1451
01:26:53,457 --> 01:26:54,709
Daddy?
1452
01:26:54,876 --> 01:26:56,961
Something very odd is happening.
1453
01:26:57,211 --> 01:27:01,132
It's not odd, it's what you predicted.
I'm leaving.
1454
01:27:01,299 --> 01:27:03,175
I can't stop thinking about Iris.
1455
01:27:03,342 --> 01:27:05,469
You were right. I don't belong here.
1456
01:27:05,636 --> 01:27:10,182
I find myself uninterested in any other
woman. Now, that's not natural.
1457
01:27:10,349 --> 01:27:13,311
- Do you think there's a chance that....
- What?
1458
01:27:13,477 --> 01:27:15,146
That she might be a witch?
1459
01:27:15,313 --> 01:27:16,480
Don't be silly.
1460
01:27:16,647 --> 01:27:18,649
And she put a spell on me?
1461
01:27:18,816 --> 01:27:19,984
Please.
1462
01:27:20,151 --> 01:27:24,822
Why not? You're a witch. I'm a witch.
She could be a witch.
1463
01:27:24,989 --> 01:27:26,574
I guess she could.
1464
01:27:26,824 --> 01:27:27,992
What else could it be?
1465
01:27:29,744 --> 01:27:31,245
Love.
1466
01:27:38,419 --> 01:27:41,839
Isn't there a spell that can
make you stop crying?
1467
01:27:42,006 --> 01:27:43,841
No, darling, there isn't.
1468
01:27:44,508 --> 01:27:48,179
He's idiotic, and yet I find him
completely charming.
1469
01:27:48,346 --> 01:27:50,723
It's been like that
since the beginning.
1470
01:27:50,890 --> 01:27:54,518
Only now, I also hate him.
1471
01:27:55,519 --> 01:27:56,938
Love.
1472
01:28:00,232 --> 01:28:02,818
Daddy, what am I gonna do?
1473
01:28:02,985 --> 01:28:04,028
Go home.
1474
01:28:04,862 --> 01:28:05,947
Where's that?
1475
01:28:06,238 --> 01:28:08,366
Wherever you've been the happiest.
1476
01:28:08,741 --> 01:28:10,785
Perhaps I'll go to Aruba.
1477
01:28:10,952 --> 01:28:14,705
- Aruba?
- But then again, perhaps I won't.
1478
01:28:23,172 --> 01:28:24,882
I don't know if I'm loving my haircut.
1479
01:28:25,049 --> 01:28:28,135
Well, Conan, I can't believe
you're bringing this up.
1480
01:28:28,302 --> 01:28:32,390
No. No. No, no, no. I'm not gonna
tell that story. There's no way.
1481
01:28:32,556 --> 01:28:35,226
Okay, okay, if you insist.
1482
01:28:35,893 --> 01:28:40,940
It was last June, and I actually cast
this witch as a witch...
1483
01:28:41,107 --> 01:28:43,567
...and now brooms make me cry.
1484
01:28:43,734 --> 01:28:47,655
I can't sleep, and I don't know
what's real or what's the TV show.
1485
01:28:47,822 --> 01:28:49,240
Hi-de-ho!
1486
01:28:49,573 --> 01:28:53,077
Look what the cat dragged in.
Somebody is retaining water.
1487
01:28:53,244 --> 01:28:55,997
Uncle Arthur. It's you.
1488
01:28:56,163 --> 01:28:58,582
Oh, no, you're gonna crack the mirror,
aren't you?
1489
01:28:58,749 --> 01:29:00,418
You watch too much television.
1490
01:29:00,584 --> 01:29:03,045
- I know you'll do it. You always do.
- Don't be silly.
1491
01:29:03,212 --> 01:29:06,090
Come closer. Do I have something
in my teeth right there?
1492
01:29:06,257 --> 01:29:07,299
- Where?
- Look!
1493
01:29:12,680 --> 01:29:13,931
That was fun!
1494
01:29:15,141 --> 01:29:17,560
Where's Sammy?
Where's my Sammy?
1495
01:29:17,727 --> 01:29:20,104
She quit. Now, leave me alone.
1496
01:29:20,438 --> 01:29:21,731
But she was the one.
1497
01:29:21,897 --> 01:29:25,151
I know, I know.
I can't stop thinking about her.
1498
01:29:25,317 --> 01:29:27,862
- But she's a witch.
- Yes, and?
1499
01:29:28,029 --> 01:29:30,239
- Jack, you're on!
- Oh, no, I'm on.
1500
01:29:30,406 --> 01:29:31,574
Go get them, tiger!
1501
01:29:31,741 --> 01:29:33,492
- -revival of the hit series Bewitched.
1502
01:29:33,659 --> 01:29:37,121
You know him from such films
as Last Year in Katmandu...
1503
01:29:37,288 --> 01:29:39,749
...An Onion For Willy and Atticus Rex.
1504
01:29:39,915 --> 01:29:42,710
Please welcome our good pal,
Jack Wyatt!
1505
01:29:57,975 --> 01:29:59,143
Oh, my God.
1506
01:29:59,310 --> 01:30:00,728
It was a dream.
1507
01:30:01,479 --> 01:30:02,855
Thank God.
1508
01:30:03,522 --> 01:30:05,316
No such luck, Jackie boy.
1509
01:30:06,567 --> 01:30:07,860
Stay back!
1510
01:30:08,027 --> 01:30:12,239
Okay, okay. You are not real.
You're from the TV show.
1511
01:30:12,406 --> 01:30:14,116
You have blond highlights...
1512
01:30:14,283 --> 01:30:16,452
...and had to wear a girdle
on your last movie.
1513
01:30:16,619 --> 01:30:17,995
Who's calling who not real?
1514
01:30:18,162 --> 01:30:20,706
Okay, I do not believe this.
I am not--
1515
01:30:20,873 --> 01:30:22,041
You are....
1516
01:30:22,833 --> 01:30:25,336
- You are real.
- Temporarily.
1517
01:30:25,503 --> 01:30:29,340
Oh, Uncle Arthur.
You're my favorite character.
1518
01:30:29,507 --> 01:30:30,758
I know.
1519
01:30:30,925 --> 01:30:32,510
What the hell's going on?
1520
01:30:32,676 --> 01:30:35,346
You need help.
Your love life's a mess, buddy boy.
1521
01:30:35,513 --> 01:30:37,348
I know, I'm miserable.
1522
01:30:37,515 --> 01:30:41,977
So am I. I have been in reruns
for 32 years.
1523
01:30:42,144 --> 01:30:46,065
I need the sizzle of prime time!
I need to get this show back on the air.
1524
01:30:46,232 --> 01:30:49,193
Okay, this is very complicated
and unsettling, all right?
1525
01:30:49,360 --> 01:30:51,070
I don't think I understand.
1526
01:30:51,237 --> 01:30:52,571
Oh. All right.
1527
01:30:52,738 --> 01:30:56,408
Do you want the short version
or the long version?
1528
01:30:56,575 --> 01:30:59,745
Keep in mind that the long version
is in Aramaic.
1529
01:30:59,912 --> 01:31:01,038
The short version.
1530
01:31:01,205 --> 01:31:04,041
You got involved with a witch,
and when you do that...
1531
01:31:04,208 --> 01:31:06,794
...weird stuff happens.
1532
01:31:07,586 --> 01:31:10,464
- That's it?
- Do I have to explain everything?
1533
01:31:10,631 --> 01:31:13,384
Okay, here's the deal. I'm not real.
1534
01:31:14,593 --> 01:31:17,054
- Iris is a witch.
- Iris is a witch?
1535
01:31:17,304 --> 01:31:19,348
Don't dwell. And, in my opinion...
1536
01:31:19,515 --> 01:31:21,851
- ...that manager of yours, Richie...
- What?
1537
01:31:22,017 --> 01:31:23,686
...isn't even human.
1538
01:31:23,853 --> 01:31:25,604
- Now, where was I?
- When?
1539
01:31:25,771 --> 01:31:28,899
Before you woke up. Oh, right!
Who wants to be with a witch?
1540
01:31:29,066 --> 01:31:31,235
Crazy crap like this
would always be happening!
1541
01:31:31,402 --> 01:31:32,528
And your point is?
1542
01:31:32,695 --> 01:31:35,322
- The point is, you'd never know.
- What?
1543
01:31:35,489 --> 01:31:38,659
Whether you were in love with her,
or whether she put a spell on you.
1544
01:31:38,826 --> 01:31:42,371
Like when you first spotted her in the
bookstore. Probably her idea, right?
1545
01:31:42,538 --> 01:31:43,873
No, that was my idea.
1546
01:31:45,082 --> 01:31:48,168
- Oh, that's terrible.
- I know, I just love to blend.
1547
01:31:48,335 --> 01:31:52,339
And when you got down on your knees
and you begged her to take the job.
1548
01:31:52,506 --> 01:31:53,591
What are you saying?
1549
01:31:53,757 --> 01:31:55,926
She probably planted the words
in your head.
1550
01:31:56,093 --> 01:31:57,428
No way, my words.
1551
01:31:57,595 --> 01:31:59,930
Yeah. What about the nose?
1552
01:32:00,097 --> 01:32:02,933
Hello? Is that even really her nose?
1553
01:32:03,100 --> 01:32:04,852
Of course it's her real nose.
1554
01:32:05,019 --> 01:32:09,356
Look. Is all's I'm saying is,
who wants to be with a witch?
1555
01:32:32,338 --> 01:32:33,672
I do.
1556
01:32:35,132 --> 01:32:36,300
She's going home.
1557
01:32:36,467 --> 01:32:39,720
And once a witch returns home,
she can't come back for 100 years.
1558
01:32:39,970 --> 01:32:41,889
She can't leave.
1559
01:32:42,222 --> 01:32:45,476
I need her. I want her. I want Isabel.
1560
01:32:45,643 --> 01:32:47,645
Well, come on, let's go get her.
1561
01:32:47,811 --> 01:32:50,481
Here we go! Let's go!
Let's go get her!
1562
01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:54,151
Follow me! Follow me, here we go!
Come on, here we go!
1563
01:33:02,034 --> 01:33:04,328
We'd better hurry.
She's leaving right this minute.
1564
01:33:04,495 --> 01:33:05,829
We've gotta stop her.
1565
01:33:06,163 --> 01:33:07,998
Hey, wait.
You can't drive, remember?
1566
01:33:08,165 --> 01:33:11,001
Remember that episode where
you pulled out and almost crashed?
1567
01:33:11,168 --> 01:33:13,379
Yes, well, that wasn't exactly me.
1568
01:33:13,545 --> 01:33:15,756
I, personally, am a great driver.
1569
01:33:17,675 --> 01:33:19,385
Whoopsie doodle!
1570
01:33:24,390 --> 01:33:26,058
Take it easy!
1571
01:33:26,976 --> 01:33:28,435
Can you slow down just a tad?
1572
01:33:28,602 --> 01:33:30,771
Is it "Porsche" or is it "Porscha"?
1573
01:33:30,938 --> 01:33:34,024
Who cares? Watch the road, please.
We've gotta get Isabel!
1574
01:33:34,191 --> 01:33:37,319
Oh, all right, party pooper.
Let me drive!
1575
01:33:38,362 --> 01:33:40,197
- There she is!
- Where?
1576
01:33:40,364 --> 01:33:41,949
Oh, no, she's flying away!
1577
01:33:42,116 --> 01:33:44,034
Pedal to the metal, buddy boy!
1578
01:33:46,036 --> 01:33:47,287
Watch it!
1579
01:33:49,707 --> 01:33:52,543
Oh, I'm about to be killed
by a fictional character.
1580
01:33:52,710 --> 01:33:54,503
Yes, you are.
1581
01:34:01,427 --> 01:34:04,054
- We're here.
- Here. Where?
1582
01:34:04,847 --> 01:34:06,390
Where is she?
1583
01:34:07,391 --> 01:34:10,269
Our place. She's at our place.
1584
01:34:12,354 --> 01:34:14,815
Thank you.
Thank you, Uncle Arthur.
1585
01:34:16,567 --> 01:34:18,318
Run to her, you idiot!
1586
01:34:44,845 --> 01:34:45,929
Isabel.
1587
01:34:50,392 --> 01:34:53,270
Oh, my God, you're here.
1588
01:34:53,437 --> 01:34:54,730
I'm so happy you're here.
1589
01:34:55,230 --> 01:34:57,775
- I'm leaving.
- No, no, no, you can't.
1590
01:34:57,941 --> 01:34:59,860
You'll be gone forever if you leave.
1591
01:35:00,027 --> 01:35:02,946
You'll be gone 100 years without
being able to come back.
1592
01:35:03,113 --> 01:35:05,783
That's ridiculous.
Who told you that?
1593
01:35:05,949 --> 01:35:07,284
He did.
1594
01:35:12,372 --> 01:35:15,459
Well, what are you doing here
if you're leaving?
1595
01:35:17,669 --> 01:35:19,546
I was going home.
1596
01:35:19,713 --> 01:35:22,382
But I don't know where that is.
1597
01:35:23,300 --> 01:35:25,135
Home is with me.
1598
01:35:25,969 --> 01:35:28,347
- Don't go. Please.
- But I'm--
1599
01:35:29,139 --> 01:35:30,766
- We'll work it out.
- We can't.
1600
01:35:30,933 --> 01:35:31,975
Yes, we can.
1601
01:35:32,142 --> 01:35:35,354
I can't be normal,
because I'm a witch.
1602
01:35:35,521 --> 01:35:40,025
I can't be a witch,
because I really wanna be normal.
1603
01:35:40,359 --> 01:35:43,153
- It's not possible.
- Of course it's possible.
1604
01:35:43,612 --> 01:35:46,323
There's tons of other witches
who've done it.
1605
01:35:46,990 --> 01:35:48,158
Who?
1606
01:35:48,325 --> 01:35:52,704
Well, maybe not tons of other witches,
but at least one.
1607
01:35:55,040 --> 01:35:56,500
Samantha.
1608
01:35:58,001 --> 01:36:02,506
Caught between two worlds,
and yet completely happy.
1609
01:36:03,340 --> 01:36:05,717
She lived happily ever after, in fact.
1610
01:36:05,884 --> 01:36:08,470
Although there's no way to be sure.
She went off the air.
1611
01:36:09,304 --> 01:36:10,806
We'll work it out.
1612
01:36:11,348 --> 01:36:13,517
Don't cry, little witch.
1613
01:36:16,854 --> 01:36:18,313
I love you, Samantha.
1614
01:36:19,648 --> 01:36:20,899
Isabel.
1615
01:36:21,066 --> 01:36:22,526
I knew that.
1616
01:36:23,152 --> 01:36:24,319
I think.
1617
01:36:24,820 --> 01:36:26,822
I love you, Darrin.
1618
01:36:39,585 --> 01:36:43,422
It just occurred to me,
you could have any guy...
1619
01:36:43,714 --> 01:36:45,215
...in the whole world.
1620
01:36:45,716 --> 01:36:47,885
Oh, but I chose you.
1621
01:36:48,343 --> 01:36:50,721
Honestly, I think you made
a mistake.
1622
01:36:50,888 --> 01:36:53,223
If I did, I can always get out of it.
1623
01:36:59,396 --> 01:37:01,106
Now we have things to do.
1624
01:37:02,191 --> 01:37:04,276
- We have a show to do.
- Yes.
1625
01:37:04,443 --> 01:37:07,779
And then, maybe after a while,
we could get married.
1626
01:37:27,674 --> 01:37:29,092
There it is.
1627
01:37:29,259 --> 01:37:30,594
Good brakes.
1628
01:37:32,554 --> 01:37:35,307
Abner, come look!
The new neighbors are moving in!
1629
01:37:35,474 --> 01:37:37,351
Not now, Gladys, I'm busy.
1630
01:37:39,436 --> 01:37:40,604
Yes.
1631
01:37:40,771 --> 01:37:44,399
I'm now going to carry you
across the threshold.
1632
01:37:48,070 --> 01:37:50,572
Don't you think the front lawn
looks a little bare?
1633
01:37:50,739 --> 01:37:51,949
No, I don't.
1634
01:37:52,115 --> 01:37:54,576
But I think it could use
a little something.
1635
01:37:54,743 --> 01:37:56,787
It's fine the way it is, honey.
1636
01:38:03,377 --> 01:38:06,755
Abner! A tree just appeared
in the front yard!